Basic Information : Synopsis : Characters : Thoughts : Evaluation : Book Group : New Words : Good Quotes : Table of Contents : References
Author: Larry Parmeter
Edition: Paperback
ISBN: 9781929763740
Read: November 2, 2017
148 pages
Genre: Fiction
Language Warning: Low
Rated Overall: 3 ½ out of 5
Fiction-Tells a good story: 4 out of 5
Fiction-Character development 5 out of 5
Google Earth File (kmz) of the places the main character went
Google Earth File (kmz) of the places the main character went
Synopsis (Caution: Spoiler Alert-Jump to Thoughts):
After a long bout with cancer, Beatrice dies of cancer. Her husband of 30+ years Michael Lindstrom finishes off the semester in a numbed condition, going through the motions, making a good show of teaching, But he realizes he needs to take time to come to an understanding of what life will be like without his wife.
After making the appropriate arrangements, he takes off in a ten year old Toyota mini-truck for a road truck, alone. A time of introspection, a time of travel, a time of new experiences. There is starts reconnecting with family and friends. He also meets some people who he will have a life long relationship with.
But it is mostly a book where he, along with you, examines life without someone whom he has loved for thirty something years. There are people who support him along the way. Also revelations concerning his family which shocks him.
Cast of Characters:
- Michael Lindstrom- Main character who is dealing with the death of his wife of 30+ years. He is a history teacher.
- Beatrice Lindstrom - The wife. Not really talked about in the book as living, but as retrospective. As an author, she went under Beatrice Cardoso.
- Danae Lindstrom - Daughter
- Laura Lindstrom - Daughter
- Dan - college roommate who turned to gold whatever he touched. He became a successful lawyer in the Bay Area but needed to leave for Albuquerque. But as time went on, his lusts got the better of him: serial infidelity, alcohol, and drugs. Finally dies due t the fast living he wanted.
- Luz - Waitress at a Mexican restaurant in El Paso which Michael happens upon. They become friends, with Michael helping her being admitted into the local Junior College. They they become really friendly.
- Denise-Michael’s cousin and probably his closest relative.
- Carmine-The daughter of a friend of Denise who Michael meets at a Christmas party. She has had a sister who died of leukemia. He is very sympathetic with Michael over his loss. Also it is a point of bounding.
- Sorensens-They are a family who has moved into Michael’s family’s old house in Swensen. They are more of an excuse to talk about the old family’s home rather than personalities in themselves.
- David Lindstrom-Michael’s brother, 13 years older. Died a year before this story.
- Jane, David Lindstrom’s partner.
- Susan Lindstrom-Michael’s sister. about 10 years older. Distant from Michael, but warms up.
- Elaine Chang. Musician, elementary school music teacher. Becomes Michael’s lover, possible girl friend.
Thoughts:
- Prolouge
- Starts with Beatrice’s funeral and what is Michael to do after that? He faces that it is not easy to go back home without his wife. So he starts by taking baby steps-stays with his daughter, then moves back into their house, but sleeps in the guest room.
- He also returns back to normalcy by returning to his job as a classroom history teacher. He completes his year with the support of his principal. But then asks for permission to take a leave of absence for the next year. This is his means for sorting out who he is without his wife.
- Interlude One. Reviews his life with his wife and the anxieties of leaving his home in madera for this road trip of self-re-discovery. Places:
- Madera, Fresno, Selma, Kingsburg, Visalia, Tulare, Bakersfield, Techachipi, Mojave, Highway 10, Blythe, Parker???
- September-A summary is that Michael is working through his wife’s death and more particularly, his life after his wife.
- Realized that he had played it safe for 30 years. Having raised a family with the death of his wife, he felt release from the bonds, where he could be adventuresome. He was now ready to start living again.
- Does this imply that families hold us back?
- Does that last statement refer to his past 30 years or to the time since his wife’s death?
- He wanted time to be alone. That is good. We all need those times of silence and away from others.
- The question is how do we use that time? Watching TV or be entertained? Contemplation? Vegging? Resting? However it is done, there is a need to be away without the justification of one's time.
- Exhaustion. Since his wife’s death, he has kept himself busy, without giving himself the time to mourning.A good thing to take his year off from work, to rejuvenate, to understand who he is.
- I wonder if he would have found the coyote’s paw prints in his previous life, or would he have been too busy.
- There is a sense that you can never escape the partner whom you have had a relationship for so long. Michael gets to the top of the cliff and looks out. What comes to mind is that his wife would have liked this scene. It is true and good that the two becomes one. Your thoughts turn into her thoughts and her thoughts yours.
- He climbs a cliff, which is a metaphor for him moving beyond his wife’s death.
- He falls asleep, looking at the stars from his lawn chair. That morning he woke up refreshed.
- Like he had gone over a hill and had accomplished something, where there was release.
- October-Dan is his former roommate from UC Davis. Michael goes to visit him after not having seen him for many years. The bottom line in this chapter is that you cannot go back to yesterday. Others have changed and so have you.
- Takes place in Albuquerque. Visits ABQ Bio Park Zoo, U of New Mexico. Also Sandia Peak, Sante Fe, Los Alamos. Then the ABQ Bio Park Zoo again.
- His friend Dan puts up a front of getting the short end of the stick a lot of times, but doing well, thriving on revising drug laws.
- Parmeter has a tendency to explain things than to let inferences be subtle. Such as ...cheap paperback novels, the dust on them indicating that they had not been read for some time…
- Maybe something like cheap paperback novels, layered in dust until Michael opened them…
- As a note to myself, it is way easier to nitpick than it is to do.
- On the other hand, he makes good use of Dan buying from thrift stores for his furniture needs.
- Little by little, Michael realizes that Dan is lying about his life. He does not make time for his kids, sees other women and leaves alcohol around.
- Michael on the other hand, realizes he misses his teaching when he sees students at the University of New Mexico. There is subtlety here you can picture Michael’s eyes them with understanding of where he desires to be-in the classroom.
- In the chapter Michael says: Dan was a bachelor, and he[Michael] had no right to judge his[Dan] personal life.
- Yet, you can see that this bothers Michael enough. His natural inclination is to see that Dan is not doing himself any good. In a sense, this is a side of morality.
- The punchline to the chapter is said by Dan’s ex. he started believing his own myth.
- This may be the best line in the whole book. It says a lot about Dan and is a warning for us. We all have this myth which we wander around with. It helps us survive what happens to us through the day. “I am handsome; I am smart; I am a leader people will follow; …” On and on it goes. In truth, there are very few exceptional people. Most are people, and in some ways this is by definition, normal. But the moment we start truly believing we are the best of humanity, then we start our own downfall. We can do no wrong, leads us to doing wrong; the risk I take is OK because I am so great, leads to disasters. Many of our leaders suffer from this thinking. In Christianity, the thought is the way up is down. To be humble is how we get lifted up. I should never let myself think otherwise.
- The chapter ends with Michael walking in on Dan and his girlfriend in a “compromised” situation. Michael leaves after basically telling Dan there is little hope for him.
- Which is true-only the person can want to change.
- November. Michael is physical with another woman. He may not love her, but there is an emotional attachment to her.
- Places: El Paso. Goes on a tour around town. Spends time at UTEP. Ciudad Juarez. small Mexican restaurant (no name or location). Hiked at Guadalupe Mountains National park, Carlsbad Caverns, White Sands National Monument, El Paso Junior College
- Michael goes into a Mexican restaurant. A waitress and him talks. She notices the ring and asks about it. His response indicates that the tie is still strong and he still feels the marriage bond.
- Facts are different than feelings. We can recite facts without getting to our feelings. It is when it goes deeper do we start hurting. But that is where we gain our humaness (my thoughts based upon Those are just the historical facts of the story, ...maybe someday it’ll go deeper, ...))
- Interesting that the author puts this story right after the one with Dan, the serial lover of young women. In the previous chapter Michael tries hard not to be condemning of Dan’s appetite for having sex with younger women. But here, faced with a younger woman who wants to go to bed with Michael, he takes her up. I think the author felt this was a release for Michael while with Dan, it was a trap. Still the only difference seems to be the quantity.
- Michael feels like he has cheated on his dead wife. Has he? Death frees us from the contractual bonds. But does it free us from the emotional?
- There is a phrase which when read the first time, sounds like a fact, but then later in the book, it sounds like Michael was oblivious to his family. My parents were married over fifty years, and as far as I know, neither of them cheated on each other.
- Luz talks about the damage which a man does when he is abusive to his wife. Not just the physical, but the mental-no longer does she trust any man, let alone one who is interested in her.
- Interlude Two. Family time. Drove through Oklahoma and Kansas. Thanksgiving in Dodge City.-Denny’s. Then in Wichita for Beatrice’s birthday.
- December -Visiting his close cousin.
- Places he goes: Riverfront, Stadium, Gateway Arch, Jefferson Expansion Memorial, Forest Park, Webster Groves and zoo,
- Trip to Chicago-Lincoln Park, Lake Michigan
- Trip to Columbus to visit Michael’s Aunt.
- Michael says that the he missed listening to someone he loved.
- Church offered him spiritual strength. But once he started on the road trip he stopped going.
- Why is it harder to be with spiritual people when you are travelling? The travel crowds out the spiritual.
- Two artists get together. Parmeter has Michael thinking that they must be talking about art. I suspect that few people, and only people who want to impress want to talk about “art” as a general concept. Or anything else as a general concept. But more likely something in particular about art. Such as a show, a technique or something like that. At least that is my thought.
- Michael talks about what the loss of his wife feels like, the ache of not having his wife there when he expects her to be: at the door, calling, in bed,...
- Forget the past, the future is all that matters. Is this true? I think that our past does govern our future as well. We are products of it, even as a baby. It is wise to know the past to understand how you can direct your future.
- Hints of the future: Michael’s aunt has dementia and talks about all her enemies. Does not recognize him. How to gracefully be if we go in that direction? That is a $64 question.
- January-Revisiting the past, by visiting his father’s grave.
- Traveled to Grand Rapids then to Minneapolis/St Paul. . Finally staying in Swensen. Main St in Swensen
- Swensen is a mythical town in Minnesota.
- Highway 43 is a north/south highway. He talks about taking it west of town. There is a short place out of South Rushford which it goes west.
- Maybe he could benefit from a glimpse in the past.
- Michael looks at the family farm. He sees how run down it has become. As his thoughts progress he wonders about the effort to build them. While not directly addressed, you get the feeling that Michael was wondering if there was futility in building? Since all will degenerate over time.
- The 2nd law of Thermodynamics in action. Without energy added to a system, it will slow down.
- There is the thought that Michael’s family is too dispersed, too busy, to visit the family cemetery. Maybe even too disconnected.
- Is connectedness as a family also a matter of place, not only blood? When we move away, does our love for family diminish where we no longer are bothered by family?
- He does realize that no matter where he lives, his roots are in Swensen. It has left its mark on him, as a place of family.
- Interlude Three. We now get into Michael’s family. His brother and sister and who his parents were.
- February-Michael finds his long lost brother and his partner. But things are not how they seem.
- Places: Montreal, Buffalo, NY (Hotel, Apartment, Restaurant)
- Sometimes the cousins just do not mix. Not that there is hostility, but just not close. The thing which keeps them together is family ties, but not bonding. Parmeter sets this one up well.
- His sister-in-law knew more about his parents than Michael did. She knew about an affair and the stress it caused in their lives.
- Strange way to announce to Michael that his brother had died. To say he is right here and then bring out his urn.
- March-Reconnecting with a distant sister. In the past Michael’s sister has remained aloof. Now Michael finds out why.
- Trips
- Lynn, Mass, Boston, Mass (Boston Commons, Braintree, Old North Church)
- Cape Cod (Provincetown)
- Lynn, Mass-his sisters, Lexington, Concord (Walden’s Pond, Emerson’s house)
- Lynn, Mass-his sisters
- The ways we deal with death. Michael thinks this as he leaves his sister-in-law apartment. He wonders if she ever leaves it besides going to work. Of course, he is dealing with his own wife’s death by going on a road trip. Some of us have no place to turn, except inward. Others seek release. Still others are made to wander.
- ...why all personal encounters took place in restaurants. … Everything ultimately revolves around food, the basic staple of life.
- But isn’t there more than that? Food also provides something neutral as well as common. A restaurant does not imply commitment like your own home does. You can just get up and walk out if you decide you do not want to like how things are going. In a home, only one party has that option.
- Parmeter also notes Funny, … how intimate a place like this can be, even with strangers all around you.
- Michael says that he is learning to live without his wife. I suspect it is the space he has given himself, to be alone, but also to reconnect with family which is part of that learning process.
- Separation/divorce is rarely only one person’s fault.
- With Michael’s father, there was a time for fun and seriousness. After all which Michael found out about his family, he remembers the positives about his father. It is always good to be that way, particularly after a father dies-you cannot do too much about the past. But the past does help explain about your present. On the other hand, he felt he did not know his mother.
- In talking with his sister about marriage, he notes that his own marriage was hard while his wife had cancer. He says that we had years of capital built up. True-you build during the good times to withstand the hard times.
- David called himself a failure. But he raised a family which loved him, held a job and cared for the people around him. Not a failure in my book. He just failed at figuring out how to relate to his parents.
- April-This month has finding love after losing ones wife. Some of the issues, concerns and feelings.
- Places
- Philadelphia (Independence Hall Liberty Bell, Benjamin Franklin Grave)
- Valley Forge, Princeton
- Philadelphia (King of Prussia Mall, )Philadelphia Zoo
- Phoenixville, Lancaster, Philadelphia
- Jersey Shore (Barnegat Light (Drove north to it), Seaside Park)
- Phoenixville, Philedelphia
- Wanderings about through the history around Philadelphia
- In wandering through the Mall, he finds a small concert playing Bach and Handel. This reminds him of Beatrice. There he meets a musician named Elaine Chang.
- I am sure this is just a name chosen out of the blue, because of it being Asian, but I had a friend by that name, so it reminds me of her.
- Elaine Chang is also a widow of four years. She does not want to rush into things. Neither does she want to find someone just like her old husband.
- There does seem to be an undertow here though. Maybe not like him, but maybe someone who has what first attracted her to him. This is just a guess. She comments and I am extrapolating that she is not the same person who married her husband. She has grown and he has become part of him, like Beatrice is part of Michael.
- Michael thinks that the Atlantic Ocean is too mellow to be called an ocean. The one time I saw the Atlantic, I had the same impression.
- There is a noting how similar Michael’s and Elaine’s circumstances are. This causes Michael to consider if there is something more to be to this relationship than two nice people enjoying each other’s company.
- Is the author trying to just be cute with the coincidence or is he implying more that this was fated to be so? What about people who have different circumstances-can they ever hope to find someone? I think I am probably taking this way too much farther than the author intended.
- Michael asks to spend the night with Elaine Chang, bashful and hesitant. Probably from memories of his wife. The author subtly indicates the action with … and they took each other.
- Interlude Four. Writes about what Elaine means to him to his daughters and gets to ponder the results.
- Places: Gettysburg
- May
- Places:
- Washington DC, Alexandria, Va
- Washington, DC (National Air and Space Museum, National Art Gallery, National Archives, Capitol, Vietnam Veterans Memorial, Korean War Veterans memorial, World War II Memorial)
- Richmond (Jefferson Davis home, Confederate White House, Confederate hospital)
- Petersburg (Church)
- Appomattox (McLean House)
- Mt Vernon, Arlington
- We look back on historical figures today. Some on the right side of a cause and some on the wrong side. But all are people of stature, who stood up for what they believed in.
- Who are the people of stature today?
- The What IF’s of life and history will leave us despondent. What If Kennedy had not been shot? What If I had accepted an offer at another college? …
- There are places which cause us to pause and wonder about our place in the world. Places which make us feel small and insignificant next to the events and the people there.
- What does the author mean by ...saw the white markers among the grass and trees, and decided that this was where America really was. This is at Arlington. Does he mean that this is the heart of our country, where we lay soldiers for their final rest? That where we honor those fallen fighting in our Nation’s armies is our best?
- June-returning home
- Places:
- I70-through Indiana, Chicago, Swensen, St Louis (Forest Park), Missouri, Oklahoma (I20), Ft Worth (I10), El Paso, Albuquerque (I25), Colorado Springs, Cheyenne, Laramie, Salt Lake City (I84)
- Oregon (Astoria, Warrenton (Ft Stevens State Park), Fort Clatsop)
- Mt St Helens
- He had gone back to Buffalo and picked up his brother’s ashes. When he got to Swensen, Instead of burying him with his father he buries him by an old barn which had good memories. Also put a picture of his brother on his father’s grave.
- I wonder what Michael was working through here. It seems appropriate. But definitely not of the death ends all life variety of thought. More of that there is an after-life which father and brother are re-united.
- People aren’t meant to be alone. Different than being solitary. Being alone, as his cousin points out, is having nobody to share with.
- Does helping others earn you the right to be helped? Probably not earned, but it is a reminder that sometimes you also need to be helped as well.
- More to wrap up the book than introduce you to a new theme.
- You’ll probably travel a lot more as you get older. And the biggest experience will not be the trip, but when you finish it. You’ll realize that at the end of each journey, you’ll see the world a bit more clearly. Reminds a bit of Ibn Battuta saying “Traveling - it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.”
- Epilogue
- Places: Madera
- Laughing as a family was something we had not done in a long time, and it felt good; it felt like living again. That is one of warmest times I had with my Dad, seeing him laugh.
- Michael was able to sleep in his own bed for the first time since his wife dies. She had shifted from being an anticipated physical presence to being a memory, … That has got to be one of the hardest parts of losing a spouse. Realizing that you will no longer be able to sleep with them.
One of the things which comes across in this book is that we are not just ourselves, but in relationship with others. That is part of who we are-these relationships. When there is a relationship missing, in this case a big relationship, his wife, there is a process you need to work through in order find yourself again.
As I plotted out Michael’s journey, I realized, there is not a definite route which he took. Did he take the Interstate to save time? Or rambled along backroads? Or maybe the state highways? I suspect more the rambling as for the most part Michael did not have a set destination in mind, rather just wanted to get away and be alone.
Also along the lines of plotting out the route, it was interesting seeing his wanderings. But it is time consuming. You got a better feel of where he was going and the vast amount of distance time it took.
Does the author have a “thing” for zoo’s? Seems like he goes to one every other city.
Evaluation:
The story talks explores some interesting points:
- Dealing with the loss of a long-term spouse
- Reconnecting with family
- Reconnecting with yourself after loss.
This is a fictional story from the perspective of a man who recently lost his wife and goes on a road trip of discovery. Discovery of himself after his wife’s death, of friends and relatives and his background. The book is well written, not on the level of a Lamott or Dillard, but good enough that you enjoy reading the story. Parmeter tells a good and meaningful story.
The book is divided up into four season with a brief interlude chapter on each group of months-not necessarily a season. Each month has a chapter. I cannot say that the seasons correspond to anything like the seasons of life, but more to mark the passing of time in Michael’s road trip of self-re-discovery.
I am in a book group with the author. There is always that thought of can anything good come out of the place where I live? So that probably makes this evaluation a bit biased. But that also gives me a leg up. When read that Michael Lindstrom, the main character, says something, I hear the author’s voice coming out of Michael’s mouth. It puts some real substance to a character.
Do not be afraid to pick up the book, even though it is not from a mainstream publisher. You will enjoy the story and then it will get you to thinking.
Notes from my book group:
- Within your English teaching, what was your subject matter?
- When you wrote this book, how much did you draw on what you taught vs going beyond what you taught vs finding out what you taught may not work with this book?
- Who did you pattern your writing after?
- Your title comes out of Ecclesiastes. Why did you choose this reference? It did not seem like you had much religious underpinnings to the book.
- Why did you choose the subject matter of living after a close companions death? What was the interest?
- What process did you go through when you were developing Michael's character?
- Why a Swedish background? Would his background have made any difference if he was French or Nigerian?
- What passages were the most difficult for you?
- What were you hoping that people would take away from reading this book? What passage were you hoping that your readers would talk about?
New Words:
- dissembling (October): conceal one's true motives, feelings, or beliefs.
- peregrination (November): a journey, especially a long or meandering one.
Good Quotes:
- First Line: We buried Beatrice on march 7.
- Last Line: I can still hear the two talking to each other as we reach the door, open it, and go inside.
- Forget the past, the future is all that matters.
- You’ll probably travel a lot more as you get older. And the biggest experience will not be the trip, but when you finish it. You’ll realize that at the end of each journey, you’ll see the world a bit more clearly.
- Prolouge
- Interlude One
- September
- October
- November
- Interlude Two
- December
- January
- Interlude Three
- February
- March
- April
- Interlude Four
- May
- June
- Epilogue
References:
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