Book: Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust
Basic Information : Synopsis : Characters : Expectations : Thoughts : Evaluation : Book Group : New Words : Book References : Good Quotes : Table of Contents : References
Basic Information:
Author: Immaculée Ilibagiza
Edition: ePub on Libby from the Fresno County Public Library
Publisher: Hay House
ISBN: 1401908977 (ISBN13: 9781401908973)
Start Date: August 7, 2020
Read Date: August 15, 2020
214 pages
Genre: History, Christianity, Biography, Forgiving
Language Warning: None
Rated Overall: 3½ out of 5
History: 3 out of 5
Religion: Christianity
Religious Quality: 4 out of 5
Christianity-Teaching Quality: 4 out of 5
Synopsis (Caution: Spoiler Alert-Jump to Thoughts):
This book is a personal autobiography of Immaculée Ilibagiza. She is a Tutsi Rwandian who survived the 1994 genocide of the Tutsi’s. This is her story as a Tutsi before the genocide, how a Hutu pastor saved her and several other women at a great risk to himself and his family. She talks about her strengthening faith and how it brought her through the terror.
She also talks about her “rescue” and even the trauma which accompanying it. Then how she survived through the kindness of a friend, as well as her continued faith in God. At the end, she notes she got married to an American and is now living in America. She hints about the mental issues she still faces, but does not delve into it.
Cast of Characters:
- Immaculée Ilibagiza-author and main person.
- Leonard Ukulikiyinkindi-her father
- Mary Rose Kankindi-her mother
- Aimable Ntukanyagew-older brother by several years older than her and was studying veterinary in Senegal. Sole other family survior.
- Damascene Jean Muhirwa-another older brother. Three years older and her closest friend.
- John Marie Vianney Kazeneza-three years younger.
- John-boyfriend of Immaculee. Was a Hutu. also a Protestant. He seemed to be only attracted to her physically. Had broken off the engagement right before the war started. Was not very receptive to her when he saw her during her time of refuge.
- Sarah-friend from National University. After the war, Immaculée roomed with her family
- Augustine-a friend of Damascene who came home with Immaculee for Easter to visit Damascene.
- Pastor Murinzi-A Hutu who had married a Tutsi. He hid Immaculee and other women in his bathroom for 91 days.
- Janet. A close school friend who rejects Immaculee during her time of need.
- Jean Paul. Friend of Immaculee’s brothers. Saved by the French. Knew how Immaculee’s family died.
- Bonn-friend of Damascene. Tried to hide him, against his family’s wishes. Kept Damascene’s letters for Immaculée
- Florence-a women Immaculee met in the French camp. Survived being stabbed and a 200’ fall down a cliff.
- Pierre-French soldier who fell in love with Immaculee
- Aloise-woman in a wheelchair who survived. Had the joy of being alive. Became like a surrogate mother to Immaculee. Let her stay at her house once the war was over.
- Fari-Aloise’s husband
- Pierre Mehu-Spokesman for the UN Assistance for Rwanda. Got her a job at the UN
- Bryan Black-He came to set up the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda. He married Immaculee .
- Recommendation: Beth Paz
- When: July 19, 2020
- Date Became Aware of Book: July 19, 2020
- How come do I want to read this book: Beth read an excerpt from the book during a Sunday sermon. It tells this ladies experience from the Rwadian genocide.
- What do I think I will get out of it? Background to why the genocide took place and her reaction as a Christian to the killing of her father, mother and brothers
Thoughts:
It is obvious that Immaculée is an intelligent woman. Both from the way she writes: simply but not dumbly, and from how she works through issues in her life. She has a strong Catholic faith. Even through the struggles during the genocide, her faith grew stronger. What is impressive to me is the emphasis of forgiveness she placed. In many ways she echo’s Desmond and Mph Tut’s book, The Book of Forgiving.
I am not sure what a Rwandan village looks like. When I Google Immaculee’s village of Mataba, it looks like it is constructed in row houses made up of cinderblock. But I do not know if that is now and it has changed since 1994.
In a 2003 article in the New York Times, it says that During the ethnic violence, many Rwandan clergymen and church workers took sides, as did much of the country. Some 300 clergymen and nuns were slain themselves because they were Tutsi or were helping the Tutsi. But many other men and women of the church, most of them Hutu, encouraged or actively collaborated with the killers.
Introduction - My Name Is Immaculée
I have always imagined that fear was more of a mental thing. But Immaculee’s reaction was also physical. Not only did she feel it, it hurt.
She spent 91 days in a bathroom with six other women. She notes that being spared is different than being saved. I think she is saying that being saved has an element of being restored. Being spared leaves scares.
She says that this is the story of how I discovered God during history’s bloodiest holocausts.
PART I: THE GATHERING STORM
Chapter 1:The Eternal Spring
Immaculee gives background on who she is. She feels that Rwanda is paradise.She was shielded from understanding the racial tensions between the various sects. For example, in school, she needed to say if she was Hutu or Tutsi. She did not know what she was. (chp 2)
Kinyaranda is the language of Rwanda. Her Dad chose her name, Ilibagiza, out of his love for her. It means: shining and beautiful in body and soul.
Her family was Catholics. But they were ones who practiced more of a universal Christianity than a narrow sense of Catholicism.
There was a symbiotic relationship between the village and her family. Her parents treated the village as an extended family. The village treated her parents as their own parents. Shouldn’t this be how it is with Christians? There is an adoption as Christ loves us, we love those around us.
Immacule ealso had three brothers. In Rwandan society, a good family name is most important. Living up to that name is paramount.
She feels that it is ironic that it is her place to tell the story, she was the one who was left to tell it.
Chapter 2:Standing Up
The whole family, probably except for the father and mother, seemed to be clueless about what tribe they belonged to. I think the Mom and Dad were trying to make them feel that all belonged to the human family. But in some ways, this did not make them safer. They were not aware of the tensions that were around them.
Apparently a lot of the tension was from when the Belgiums were the colonizers. They created a system where the Hutus and Tutsis were identified and one was favored over the other. It is not easy to spot the difference between the two tribes. There is inter-marrying as well, causing even more similarities.
There were a couple previous times of mayhem of Hutu against Tutsi. The first in 1959. The second in 1973. Juvenal Habyarimana seized power in 1973. One of his platforms was that both school placements and governmental jobs must reflect the ethnic make-up of the nation. What this really meant was that there was discrimination against the Tutsi’. 85% of the population is Hutu, 14% Tutsi.
Makes you wonder about the striving for statistical equality in the United States. Is this really a good thing? On one hand there is the need for those who are discriminated against to be given a fair opportunity. Looking at the stats seems to be a good measure. This does have the assumption that all groupings and categories will have the same abilities and qualities. Is this true? I think generally it is. But will we in the US get to the same point as the Hutus?
Immaculee succeeded in the lower grades, enough so she was eligible to go to a private quality school. But because of the system in place, she could not get a scholarship. Her Dad sold two cows so that she could afford the tuition. By this, Immaculee knew her Dad loved her-actually this was more the tangibleness of his love for her. She knew it already.
Chapter 3:Higher Learning
School at this higher level was good. But a Tutsi rebellion started which affected what was being told to the students. Locals were starting to be hostile to Tutsis. Her father was arrested for being a Tutsi, but then was released.
Chapter 4:Off to University
Immaculee was awarded a scholarship to the National University. She studied hard. Got a boyfriend named John.
The Interahamwe force was formed. This was a paramilitary group, not very disciplined, but wanted blood. It was under Presidential protection. She witnessed an attack on a middle-aged woman where she was basically robbed and attacked. They stripped her naked and left her to find her way home. Immaculee thought was If we let devils like these control our streets, we’re in deep trouble.
Chapter 5:Returning Home
The sounds of hate invade Immaculee’s life. One particular radio station starts to do programming for Hutu power, calling for the extermination of the Tutsi cockroaches.
Because of school, Immaculee felt she could not break away for Easter break. Her father wrote back and insisted she come home. When she got home, she felt like it was good and joyful. But Damascene was advocating that the family leave and go to Zaire. Immaculee’s father did not think the danger was that great. He had heard about a list of people which the Interahamwe wanted to kill. The family was on it. But that did not convince them.
The family and probably throughout Rwanda, it is the father who holds sway when a family decision is to be made. So the siblings struggled with trying to override him. In the end, they decided to wait until morning.
President’s Habyarimana is shot down. The Hutu’s blamed the Tutsi, starting the genocide.
Chapter 6:No Going Back
They felt trapped in their home. There were radio warnings about not going out. She was realizing that her father did not have a basis in reality concerning any rescue by the rebel Tutsi soldiers.
That night the Interahamwe started attacking homes. The family could see them coming down the road towards them. Other Tutsis were arming themselves with sticks and rocks. The Tutsis were calling on her father to lead them. The next morning 10,000 Tutsis were camped out in front of their place. Her father spoke to them. At the end, asking them to pray. Her father said It doesn’t matter if we live or die--the important thing is that we fight against this evil that has come to our homes. He went on and said Find a spear, arm yourselves, but don’t kill anyone! We won’t be like them--we will not kill--but we won’t sit around and be slaughtered like sheep either.
They were attacked and repelled the Hutu. More Tutsis came.
Fear paralysis action.
The family convinced Immaculee that she needed to hide at a local Pastor’s house. She resisted, but gave in. Augustine went with her. They met a band of Hutu, but one of them was a friend of Immaculee, so they were left alone for now.
Chapter 7:The Pastor’s House
Immaculee and Augustine make it to the Pastor’s house. Not sure if he is too happy to see her. But he provides refuge for Immaculee. Two Hutus who she knows are there. Her teacher gives off vibes of this Tutsi scum. Why is this dirt in this man’s house? Immaculee’s thought is how can this teacher reject her that God has made as a Tutsi? The second is her friend Janet who was her closest friend in school. Janet also rejects her. But there is one person, Lechim who takes care of her and Augustine. He is Immaculee's closest male from outside of her family. This is of comfort to her.
What Immaculee raises is good to remember when dealing with people not like me. That God has made us as we are. Into whatever tribes or race we are in. What God has made, we should not reject. And that is the big question, discerning what God has made and what has gotten corrupted.
Augustine is Hutu, but looks Tutsi. He is upset because he hears people talk like he is part of the rebel army. Even if his card says Hutu, they will say it is fake. That is the problem of not accepting what is true and only bending things into how you believe they should be.
Immacule: All we have left is hope, so let’s hold on to it..
Chapter 8:Farewell to the Boys
But for Augustine and Vinney, there is too much danger. He is already hiding five other women in a small cramped bathroom. This was there death sentence. The pastor turned them out. Immaculee would go between distrust of the pastor and hatred, to understanding. It seems like the pastor was put into a no-win situation. He could not keep the two boys without endangering not only himself and his family but the six women who he was sheltering. So he did do what he could. But that meant the death of the two boys.
The Pastor notes that once the bloodlust gets into the air, there is no one to trust. There is no rational thought
PART II: IN HIDING
Chapter 9:Into the Bathroom
The six women get introduced to a small bathroom which will be their home for the next 91 days. No sink. It does have a shower they cannot use. There is a bathroom next to this one. The only time they can flush the toilet is when someone else flushes the toilet on the other side. Nobody besides the pastor knows that they are in there. They found an arrangement to sit on the floor, one in each other’s laps. Occasionally they would stand in unison to stretch, without making a sound.
Immaculee, while being religious and devout before, really starts to pray. One of the first things she prayers about is for God to give her a heart to forgive the pastor.
When the first morning comes, she hears birds talking and singing. Her thought is How lucky you are to have been born birds and have freedom-after all, look at what we humans are doing to ourselves. This is something to meditate on, particularly as each party is trying to stir up what sometimes feels like hate against each other. By the way, there are times I see birds of different species attack other birds. So they are not completely innocent.
The Hutu’s came to see where the pastor had hidden the women. He lied to them to save the women he was hiding. Immaculee semi-justified it as if he said the truth he too would be attacked. Still that must have cost the pastor some sleep to lie.
The pastor would feed them scraps of food left over from the meals. That way nobody in the household would see that he was fessing extra people. This also meant that the women were an an infrequent schedule of eating. Also they were on a malnutrition diet.
Immaculee got a glimpse of a crowd, hundreds of people, who were dressed as devils. These were not the army, but local townspeople. They were her neighbors. She recognized many of them. People who she had grown up with. People who had been to her house for dinner.
Because of the tenseness in the situation, she forgot how to pray. The devil was tempting her that God did not care for her. She ended up forming an image of God in her mind and remembering that He loves her. All of the women prayed for seven hours. When the pastor came, he said that the killers had left hours ago. She realized that there was evil all around. She also remembers that her father said that you could never pray too much. She also realized that the battle to survive would be fought inside of her.
The pastor came back later and said that he was warned that the killers would be back later to do a more thorough search. After praying, Immaculee demanded that the pastor’s wardrobe be placed across the door to hide it.
Chapter 10:Confronting My Anger
There was tension as the killers were taking their time in coming, but they were in the neighborhood.
She spent her time in prayer and meditation. It was when she stopped did she feel tempted by the devil.
She ponders that Hutus and Tutsi have been segregated. They were called snakes and cockroaches. This all lead to a dehumanizing of the Tutsis.. Hutus witnessed the segregation of Tutsis every day, first in the schoolyard and then in the workplace, and they were taught to dehumanize us by calling us “snakes” and “cockroaches.” No wonder it was so easy for them to kill us—snakes were to be killed and cockroaches exterminated! It made it easier to kill since you exterminate both. What does this say about us in the USA? Our political discourse should never lead us down this path
The pastor noted that the whole country was shut down until the job was done. What is the job? Killing all the Tutsis. The pastor talked about what was being done and the killings taking place. Immaculee anger and hatred grew, against the pastor, I think as a place holder.
Chapter 11:Struggling to Forgive
She gets to the root of that troublesome part of the Lord’s Prayer where we pray to God that we be forgiven as we forgive others. I knew that God expected us to pray for everyone, and more than anything, I wanted God on my side. As the days pass, she occupies herself with prayer. But the more she prayers, the less she feels close to God. It was no use—my prayers felt hollow. A war had started in my soul, and I could no longer pray to a God of love with a heart full of hatred.
In between the two quotes above, the killers came back and rampaged through the house. They even went into the pastor’s bedroom, but did not move the chest of drawers which hid the bathroom door. But the women could hear the killing these people were doing. This is where Immaculee was having troubles with her prayers. She could not pray for the killers. How could God expect her to pray for them? God’s answer was that they are also his children. Eventually she comes to the place and prays as Jesus did for his killers, Forgive them, they know not what they do.
Immaculee’s path to God was not a straight line. She was tempted by the devil to blame God; to say that she had lost faith; she could never pray as God wanted her to pray; … And countless other doubts.
Chapter 12:No Friends to Turn To
Immaculee retreated into her special space of prayer. There she could be isolated from the sights and sounds around her, including the other woman. This was more n her mind, than reality.
She was having a hard time with the pastor. After a month, he fed them. He told Immaculee that her father was a very bad man. He had received information from the government that Immaculee’s father was helping the rebels, that he had housed a whole depot of weapons. But that was far from the truth which Immaculee knew. Her father helped all to improve their lives. This was a place which Immaculee battled with herself not to hate the pastor as well.
Immaculee could hear Janet talking with her friends, saying that she hopes they find Immaculee and kills her. She has been told her father wanted to kill Janet’s family.
Another Tutsi woman came to the pastor seeking shelter. But he turned her away. Shortly afterwards, Immaculee heard her scream. The killers got her.
Chapter 13:A Gathering of Orphans
The whole Rwandan governmental apparatus had been turned into a”hunt Tutsis” action. Radio stations had been taken over, supplies were given out to aid in the hunt. The pastor was not sure what to do with the women. If the war lasted a long time, he would run out of food. He asked that the women pray to end the war in the Hutus favor. He also let them know that if that did happen, he was making plans to get them to escape. But escape by marrying into a different tribe of primitive Africans.
The pastor needed help in taking care of them. So he recruited two of his children whom he trusted the most. Later two more women joined them in the bathroom.
Immaculee had a dream/vision where she knew that her family had died and were with Jesus. Later on she heard people talking outside of the bathroom. They talked about killing this smart young man who had a master’s degree. She could only think it was her brother-it was.
Chapter 14:The Gift of Tongues
They were on a starvation diet. Clothes were extremely loose. Also since they could not clean themselves, they started getting infested by various bugs. She got sick twice. Once with a high fever. The second time with a UTI. God cured them.
There is a difference between how you look and how she felt. Because she was more in tune with God, she felt beautiful.
God never shows us something we aren’t ready to understand. One revelation was that Immaculee should learn English. Rwanda uses French as their second language. But the UN uses English. That is also what the rebels learnt as well. The pastor had some English literature which Immaculee learned from.
She learned English from an English -French dictionary and books. Her life was praying and meditating to God and learning English. This probably saved her from going crazy.
Someone had once told me that it was important to visualize what you want to happen in the future, because doing so could actually help make it come true.
Immaculee had been engaged to a man by the name of John. John had been friends with the pastor’s family and ended up taking refuge at the pastor’s house. In their meeting, John could not hide that Immaculee was too skinny now to be attractive. Immaculee. realized that what was there was not love. God gave us all the gift of love to share and nurture in one another. It is a precious gift, one that John had squandered
Chapter 15:Unlikely Saviors
Occasionally they would hear through the vents the atrocities being committed by the Hutu’s. They were truly revolting.
One of the gossips being heard was that the French would be coming as part of the UN Force. The Hutus who had close ties with the French thought this was good. But Immaculee thinking was that the world would be watching the French and that the French would not let the genocide continue. Her thought is that God works in mysterious ways.
Pastor thought that it would not be safe to have the French rescue the women. But the women felt that if the French was there to kill them, they would rather be killed quickly by them than the slow, painful, humiliating death the Hutu’s were killing them by.
But it may have been possible that the pastor was found out by one of the house boys.
Chapter 16:Keeping the Faith
The killers come back and they are particularly looking for Immaculee. This leads her to terror.
There are two statements she makes. The first is a good description: that she was fumbling her faith. Just remember that fumbling one’s faith is not the end of your relationship with God, just a speedbump.
The second showing of faith is what she dreams while the killers are on the other side of the wall. She sees Jesus who tells her that Mountains are moved with faith, Immaculée, but if faith were easy, all the mountains would be gone.
A different houseboy is suspicious and starts looking around and thinks he knows where the women are, but after the last episode, he wants to make sure. The pastor is nervous, but wants to find the French troops which are reported to be in the neighborhood. They agree to take the women.
But there is a report that the killers are on to him and will be coming back soon. The pastor finally tells his own family about the women. For the most part they feel compassion. The pastor’s point is to take a good look at these women. He says to his family: If you have a chance to help unfortunates like these ladies in times of trouble, make sure you do it—even if it means putting your own life at risk. This is how God wants us to live. This may be the most important lesson in the book.
Immaculee realizes that the pastor while not being perfect has protected them at great cost to him and potential cost to his family.
PART III: A NEW PATH
Chapter 17:The Pain of Freedom
Even their walk to the French was not without terror. They were being escorted by the pastor, John and the pastor’s sons. A band of killers came down the road. Immaculee felt that God must have blinded them to the Tutsis presence. Even with being as weak as they were, they ran the last 500 yards to the French encampment.
In the camp, she met two brothers who were friends of her brothers. They talked about how they were saved by a Hutu friend. The Hutu friend would stay with them at night, then go with other Hutus, hunting for Tutsis to kill. The genocide is happening in people’s hearts, Jean Paul,” I said. “The killers are good people, but right now evil has a hold on their hearts. Not sure this is the “correct” explanation of the human condition. But this is how Immaculee saw things, and it makes sense from her perspective. These were her friends and neighbors who were doing the killing. She knew their goodness. Now she knew their evil as well.
These friends, Jean Paul, knew how here parents and family had died. They told her about how her father died trying to save other Tutsi’s. Her mother died a few days before.
She found some of her aunts and cousins in another camp and got a letter from her brother Damascene.
Chapter 18:A Letter from Damascene
Read his final letter. Bonn tried to hide Damascene, but in the end could not. He tried to slip him across to Zaire. But it did not work out. Damascene was betrayed by a friend’s brother. His last words seem to be similar to Stephens: I pray that you see the evil you’re doing and ask for God’s forgiveness before it’s too late. I do not think I would be in the spirit of forgiveness in his shoes. I am far from being that good. The killing was brutal.
Chapter 19:Camp Comfort
The French camp’s basic purpose was to keep Tutsis and Hutus separate. Immaculee became friends with the French captain. He offered to kill any of the Hutus which she wanted, particularly those who killed her family. She had forgiven the killers and did not want anymore blood shed.
Florence tells her story of being stabbed and tossed from a cliff, left for dead. She had prayed to God that she would live and now she was trying to understand the purpose. Immaculee says that she is like Immaculee that God has left them to tell their story.
A French soldier, Pierre falls in love with Immaculee. She is too fresh from her hurts to be in a relationship.
Immaculee became the translator and processor of the Tutsi survivors. Doing so, she processed several orphans, children too young to know what that meant. Immaculee felt that she understood a bit about what her work would be like in the future-to care for the parentless.
A woman was wheeled into the French camp on a wheelchair. She was coming in with a hearty laugh. Her name was Aloise. She was famous throughout Rwanda as having contracted polio as a child and could not walk. It turns out the Immaculee mother had saved Aloise’ life by supplying the tuition for her to go to school. Aloise invited Immaculee and all her friends to come live with her once the war was over. The thing which Aloise brought to Immaculee was the thought that she now needed to think about her future.
Chapter 20:The Road to the Rebels
But was the French camp really a safe haven, even with the goodwill the captain showed to Immaculee? The French were leaving Rwanda. So the Tutsis were being moved to another camp. This one being run by the rebels. As Immaculee was packing to leave-there was not much, she decided to make a clean break with her past and left a sweater and two books at the schoolhouse. She kept her father’s rosary.
Half way to the new camp, the truck stopped. There was reports of gunfire. The French had orders to avoid all fighting. So the survivors had to walk the rest of the way, through where the Hutu killers were waiting for them.
Chapter 21:On to Kigali
Just when Immaculee thought she was safe by going to the Tutsi rebels, they seemed to disbelieve that she and the men accompanying her were Tutsi. It was only after one of the soldiers recognized her did they believe her. The rebels went and rescued those who were left behind.
Immaculee is shown a pit where there are countless dead Tutsis. The stench was unbearable. They could only do a mass burial. Immaculee asks herself the question, how long will it take for Rwanda to recover from this genocide? How long will it take before their hearts are softened towards each other? It was here where Immaculee knew she would need to leave Rwanda in order for her to be healed. There was too much memory for her, too much bitterness for her to overcome.
The rebels sent Immaculee, Aloise and the others to Aloise’s home and included food as well as the truck for transportation. Aloise’s husband, Fari, was still alive.
Fari: A home is a prison without love.
Immaculee’s next step was to get a job.
Chapter 22:The Lord’s Work
The problem was that nobody, no business was hiring. Each was trying to recover from the civil war. The only place which needed workers was the UN. But according to Fari, they wanted English speakers. She now knew way she was studying English in the bathroom.
Immaculee is a great believer in her own destiny. After two weeks of nothing, she started visualizing what it would be like to have a job at the UN.
After more rejection, she fled to stairs in the UN. There she is mistaken for someone else and is told to report the next morning for a job with the UN Spokesman.She gets hired and is eventually put in charge of coordinating the supplies coming into Rwanda for the UN.
Chapter 23:Burying the Dead
Immaculee was able to write to her only remaining brother in Sengal. He could not come-he was on scholarship and could not afford the $2,000 trip. So they communicated in writing.
She made friends with some people in the UN forces who gave her a lift to a base close to her hometown. The men at the base gave her an armed escort to visit her home. There was nothing left. She visited where her mom was buried. She struggled with hatred to those who created such mayhem and torture for her family.. I asked God for the forgiveness that would end the cycle of hatred—hatred that was always dangerously close to the surface.
She resolved that she could not help the anger and hatred which these things reminded her of. But that as soon as she felt them, she would turn to God.
She resolved to give her brother and mother a proper burial. So they dug him up and reburied him. She fainted.
Chapter 24:Forgiving the Living
Rwandan song: Mwami Shimirwa means Thank you God, for love that is beyond our understanding
There is something telling about an exchange with her aunt. Immaculee tells her that if she is not afraid to go out, to go ahead and harvest the beans from the family’s coffee orchard. The aunt replies that she is not afraid. Why? Because the next time she has a gun. When you have experienced something horrific, such as the Rwadan genocide, there is a feeling this will reeat. This sustains a series of revenge and revenge for the revenge cycles. The other thing is that she has a gun. There is a sense that violence will cure the issues.
The leader of the gang which killed her mother and brother is in prison. Immaculee has a chance to meet him. She forgives him. She sees the evil which entered him and wants no part of continuing it. When asked why did she forgive him instead of cursing him, spitting on him, questioning him. Immaculee replays, Forgiveness is all I have to offer. This is a good way to end the story. Note from Sept 2020: Last month, this man, Felicien Kabuga, was sentence to life in prison according to the APNews.
Epilogue: New Love, New Life
She does not know how long she will live with a broken heart. She was able to live quietly for two years.
She was reunited with Aimable in late 1995. But it seems like they came from two different worlds. There was caution in their reunion. There was love, but no discussion of what happened during the genocide.
She was not sure that marriage was for her after what happened with John. She gave God six months to come up with an answer to that question. Three months later she met Bryan Black who came to set up the criminal tribunal for the UN. They got married two years later and moved to the USA in 1998
Her conclusion is: He [God] left me to tell my story to others and show as many people as possible the healing power of His love and forgiveness….. Anyone in the world can learn to forgive those who have injured them, however great or small that injury may be.
And finally, The love of a single heart can make a world of difference. I believe that we can heal Rwanda—and our world—by healing one heart at a time
Evaluation:
Immaculée Ilibagiza livved through the Rwandan genocide of 1994. This is her story. A story of both what happened to her and the faith she maintained which brought her through this time of terror.
She takes her story through who her family was, along with her drive to succeed in school. Then along comes the genocide. She and six other women are locked up in a bathroom for 91 days. This is not a big mansion type bathroom, but a small bathroom off of the master bedroom. From there she could hear Hutu’s searching for her, wanting her dead. Not because of what she had done, but because she was of a different tribe than them. But she made it through, even to the point of being able to create a new life. First in Rwanda, and then marrying and coming to the United States.
This is a worthwhile read first for her personal story. She says right up front, this is not Rwanda’s story, but her. Next how her faith and prayer life grew even as the times got worse. Immaculée is someone who can show us how to live a life when under stress.
Notes from my book group:
In the Introduction, Immaculee talks about being spared. Why does she use this term rather than either saved or survived?
Also in the Introduction, she says that this is the story of how I discovered God during history’s bloodiest holocausts. Is hers a story worth reading? What makes it so?
Talk about the tension between the Hutus and Tutsis. How did the Hutus get so worked up to kill Tutsis? Are there any lessons we can apply to our country?
Immaculee’s family treated the village, Hutu and Tutsi alike, as part of their extended family. Why did Immaculee’s family do this? Did it do anything to decrease the tension between the two tribes?
Why didn’t Immaculee and her brothers know which tribe they belonged to? What was the father trying to accomplish through their ignorance?
Immaculee’s family was warned that they were on the Hutu hit list. Why did they not flee? Do you think that they did not believe that it was true? Or that they were frozen with fear? Or some other reason?
If you were the pastor, would you have taken Immaculee and the other women in? Even at the possible death of your own family?
When Immaculee took refuge at the pastor’s house, her brother’s friend Augustine was brought along. Later her brother joined them. The pastor said that she could stay, but they could not. Why did the pastor make that choice about who to stay and who would not? Was this the appropriate choice? Did he have other options? Later a woman whom Immaculee knew was turned away by the pastor.
When the pastor was having the women leave to go to the French, he showed them to his family. He tells them If you have a chance to help unfortunates like these ladies in times of trouble, make sure you do it—even if it means putting your own life at risk. This is how God wants us to live. How does this explain the actions of the pastor? Does this clarify for you thoughts about why he saved them? Does it shed any light on why he let her brother and friend go to their death?
Immaculee wonders how what God has created, how could the Hutu reject? What lead to this rejection? How does the terms snake and cockroach make it easier to de-humanize people? In our current political climate are there terms being used which de-humanize people? How can we bring to light rejected people’s createdness in God? What part does segregation play in this de-humanizing?
She views the killers as ... good people, but right now evil has a hold on their hearts. Would you agree with this? Or do you have another view of human nature? Also there is a tendency to break people into good vs bad people. Would you extend this out to others in the United States?
Damascene was betrayed by a friend’s brother. As his killers were ready to butcher him, he said: I pray that you see the evil you’re doing and ask for God’s forgiveness before it’s too late. Talk about what you are thinking when you read these words.
One of the more amazing stories was with Aloise. Describe her. What made her tick and still be joyful though the drama she went through. How did a prior family relationship play into her reception of Immaculee? Is this a case of the good you do will eventually come back to you or yours? Or that this is all part of God’s plan?
One of the most heart-wrenching stories in the book is the reunion of Immaculee and her brother Aimable who was in Sengal. They could not talk through what happened during the genocide, nor where Immaculee was now in her thinking. Why do you think they could not talk? What would have helped them to work through their issues?
Malcolm Gladwell uses the term, “defaulting to truth”. Augustine looks like a Tutsi, but is a Hutu. He even has a card to show it. But he thinks that the Hutu’s will not believe him or the card. How does a climate described before the genocide lead to disbelief? Do we make our beliefs fit the facts or the facts fit our beliefs? How is this important in understanding and living with each other?
Look around your neighborhood. Which one of your neighbors could be incited to kill you? This is what Immaculee faced. What would you be feeling when you found out that some of your friends were now hunting you?
Trace Immaculee’s spiritual growth through this ordeal. There are several components to her spiritual time with God. Talk about them:
Belief in God answering prayer.
Battling spiritual forces, particularly with attacks on her faith.
Forgiveness
Dependence
Hollowness of her spirituality
Immaculee understands that things will change once she is released. She is inspired to learn English. How does this happen? Why was this useful later on? How do we know God’s guidance, even when it is seemingly crazy?
The walk towards God was not in a straight line. She uses the term fumbling her faith. WHat does she mean by this? How is this a good term for our walk of faith?
What freedoms do you enjoy? What do you take for granted? Immaculee realized what she had the morning after the first night and she heard the birds sing freely.
Immaculee asks the question, how long will it take for Rwanda to recover from the genocide? Do you think a nation can ever recover from this kind of atrocity? What scars would remain? What scars remain from our Civil War? Note, as of 2020, the government is still grappling with the effects of the genocide. Do a Google of Rwanda APNews and you will get current goings on concerning the genocide.
Immaculee does not address the question of, why did God permit the genocide? How would you address it?
Many of these questions are either from or adapted from LitLovers.
Why the title of Left to Tell?
Does this story work as a biography?
Did the ending seem fitting? Predictable? How would you have ended her book?
Every story has a world view. Were you able to identify this story’s world view? What was it? How did it affect the story?
In what context was religion talked about in this book?
Was there anybody you would consider religious? Other than Immaculee?
How did they show it?
Was the book overtly religious?
How did it affect the book's story?
Why do you think the author wrote this book?
What would you ask the author if you had a chance?
What “takeaways” did you have from this book?
What central ideas does the author present?
Are they personal, sociological, global, political, economic, spiritual, medical, or scientific
What implications for you, our nation or the world do these ideas have?
Describe the culture talked about in the book.
How is the culture described in this book different than where we live?
What economic or political situations are described?
Does the author examine economics and politics, family traditions, the arts, religious beliefs, language or food?
How did this book affect your view of the world?
Of how God is viewed?
What questions did you ask yourself after reading this book?
Talk about specific passages that struck you as significant—or interesting, profound, amusing, illuminating, disturbing, sad...?
What was memorable?
New Words:
- Scapular (6): a Western Christian garment suspended from the shoulders. There are two types of scapulars, the monastic and devotional scapular, although both forms may simply be referred to as "scapular"
- Burgomaster (24): the mayor of a Dutch, Flemish, German, Austrian, or Swiss town
Inspiration by Wayne Dyer
Good Quotes:
- First Line: This bookis not intended to be a history of Rwanda or of the genocide; rather, it is my own history.
- Last Line: I hope my story helps.
- It doesn’t matter if we live or die--the important thing is that we fight against this evil that has come to our homes. Chp 6
- Find a spear, arm yourselves, but don’t kill anyone! We won’t be like them--we will not kill--but we won’t sit around and be slaughtered like sheep either.Chp 6
- All we have left is hope, so let’s hold on to it..Chp 7
- God never shows us something we aren’t ready to understand. Chp 14
- Someone had once told me that it was important to visualize what you want to happen in the future, because doing so could actually help make it come true. Chp 14
- God gave us all the gift of love to share and nurture in one another. Chp 14
- Mountains are moved with faith, …. but if faith were easy, all the mountains would be gone. Chp 16
- A home is a prison without love. Chp 21 (Fari said this)
- He [God] left me to tell my story to others and show as many people as possible the healing power of His love and forgiveness. Chp Epilogue
- Anyone in the world can learn to forgive those who have injured them, however great or small that injury may be. Chp Epilogue
- The love of a single heart can make a world of difference. I believe that we can heal Rwanda—and our world—by healing one heart at a time. Chp Epilogue
Foreword by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Preface
Introduction
My Name Is Immaculée
PART I: THE GATHERING STORM
Chapter 1:The Eternal Spring
Chapter 2:Standing UpChapter
3:Higher LearningChapter
4:Off to UniversityChapter
5:Returning HomeChapter
6:No Going BackChapter
7:The Pastor’s House
Chapter 8:Farewell to the Boys
PART II: IN HIDING
Chapter 9:Into the BathroomChapter
10:Confronting My AngerChapter
11:Struggling to ForgiveChapter
12:No Friends to Turn To
Chapter 13:A Gathering of OrphansChapter
14:The Gift of Tongues
Chapter 15:Unlikely SaviorsChapter
16:Keeping the Faith
PART III: A NEW PATH
Chapter 17:The Pain of Freedom
Chapter 18:A Letter from Damascene
Chapter 19:Camp ComfortChapter
20:The Road to the Rebels
Chapter 21:On to Kigali
Chapter 22:The Lord’s WorkChapter
23:Burying the DeadChapter
24:Forgiving the LivingEpilogue: New Love, New Life
Acknowledgments
About the AuthorsWristband Ordering Information
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