Friday, April 17, 2020

The Moral Sayings of Pubilius Syrus, a Roman Slave

Book: The Moral Sayings of Pubilius Syrus, a Roman Slave
Basic Information : SynopsisExpectations : Thoughts : Evaluation : Book Group : New Words  : Good QuotesReferences

Basic Information:
Author: Publius Syrus
Edition: Google Playbook translated from the Latin by D. Lyman
Publisher: LE Barnard&Company
ISBN: 1437166245 (ISBN13: 9781437166248)
Start Date: April 8, 2020
Read Date: April 17, 2020
82 pages
Genre: Essay, Personal Growth
Language Warning: None
Rated Overall: 3 out of 5


Synopsis:
A series of maxims or sayings on the conduct of a person. Born a Syrian, he became a Roman slave. But because of the wisdom shown, he was set free. He competed in oritory in front of the highest Romans, including Julius Caesar.



Expectations:
  • Recommendation: Saw a reference in Caitin Doughty’s book, Smoke Gets IN Your Eyes
  • When: April 8, 2020
  • How come do I want to read this book: Seems like these are a things which are good to remember


Thoughts:
I will be copying about a tenth of the teaching. Some I will comment on.
  • 1. As men, we are all equal in the presence of death.
  • 2. The evil you do to others you may expect in return.
  • 7. To do two things at once is to do neither.
    • Wonder what he would say in this era of multi-tasking.
  • 10. To love one's wife with too much passion, is to be an adulterer.
    • I do not understand what he means.
  • 11. Hard is it to correct the habit already formed.
  • 15. Even when we get what we wish, it is not ours.
  • 25. A god could hardly love and be wise.
    • Interesting. What a narrow god he had or imagined. But I suspect without revelation, this is how I would also feel. I should be thankful for this.
  • 29. Be not blind to a friend's faults, nor hate him for them.
    • Hard to do. Also would be true of political candidates.
  • 35. Adversity shows whether we have friends, or only the shadows of friends.
  • 37. The loss of a friend is the greatest of losses.
  • 46. We all seek to know whether we shall be rich; but no one asks whether he shall be good.
    • So true.
  • 49. A wise man rules his passions, a fool obeys them.
  • 52. A [haughty] spirit in disgrace is a show for the rabble.
  • 68. What greater evil could you wish a miser, than long life.
  • 71. No amount of gain satisfies Avarice.
  • 73. Avarice is the source of its own sorrows.
  • 83. No one but a knave or a fool thinks a good deed thrown away.
  • 85. Never forget a favor received; be quick to forget a favor bestowed.
  • 87. To receive a favor is to pawn your freedom.
    • And yet, he seems to want to give out favors. Does this mean he wants to have others beholden to him?
  • 90. Agift in season is a double favor to the needy.
  • 99. Conquest over one's self, in the hour of victory, is a double triumph.
  • 104. A good reputation, even in darkness, keeps on shining.
  • 109. We must master our good fortune, or it will master us.
  • 120. Learn to see in another's calamity the ills which you should avoid.
  • 134. The wounds of conscience always leave a scar.
  • 138. There is but a step between a proud man's glory and his disgrace.
  • 141. Make your beloved angry, if you wish him to love you.
    • I wonder what my wife would think of this?
  • 146. Consult your conscience, rather than popular opinion.
  • 148. You will gain your point better by moderation than anger.
  • 169. Every man is a master in his own calling.
  • 170. Patience is a remedy for every sorrow.
  • 173. The greatest of comforts is to be free from blame.
  • 174. There is no safety in regaining the favor of an enemy.
  • 178. The gain acquired at the expense of reputation, should be counted a loss.
  • 184. Wisdom is acquired by meditation.
  • 185. While we stop to think, we often miss our opportunity.
  • 204. He who has prospered in life, should stay at home.
  • 215. A kindness should be received in the spirit that prompted it.
  • 217. In place of giving an angry man arms, we should take them away.
  • 220. It is a kingly spirit that can return good deeds for reproaches.
  • 223. The party to which the rabble belong is ever the worst.
    • This applies to our political parties as well.
  • 227. The good to which we have become accustomed, is often an evil
  • 236. Even when the wound is healed, the scar remains.
  • 237. Even when there is no law, there is conscience.
  • 250. It is easier to add to a great reputation than to get it.
  • 252. By concealing the deed, you render the accusation more serious.
    • Nixon should have learned this. I certainly did as a kid.
  • 265. What is left when honor is lost?
  • 310. Do not take part in the council, unless you are called.
  • 316. Circumstances will oft force a good man to swerve from the right
  • 318. By doing nothing, men learn to do ill.
  • 335. The people are strongest, where the Laws have most power.
    • There is a fine distinction here between laws having power and the people who enforce laws having power.
  • 336. Victory waits upon unity of action.
  • 343. Pardon the offense of others, but never your own.
  • 345. Would you have a great empire ? Rule over yourself.
  • 356. Audacity is every thing, when the danger is critical.
  • 383. To forget the wrongs you receive, is to remedy them.
  • 389. To do good you should know what good is.
  • 413. The error repeated is a fault.
  • 416. When vice is approved, it will soon become intolerable.
  • 429. When you assail truth, you may give loose reins to your tongue.
  • 431. A slanderous tongue is the sign of a bad heart.
  • 438. In the art of praying, necessity is the best of teachers.
  • 457. They live ill who expect to live always.
  • 464. Depravity pretends to goodness, that it may be worse than before
  • 467. Never find your delight in another's misfortune.
  • 507. An orator's life is more convincing than his eloquence
  • 511. The fear of death is more to be dreaded than death itself.
  • 519. He threatens many, who does injustice to one.
  • 521. The death of a good man is a public calamity.
  • 524. A rolling stone gathers no moss.
    • Interesting. I always thought it was Confusius who was credited with it. But Wikipedia says Syrus did, or at least is the most likely to be credited.
  • 528. Never promise more than you can perform
    • I think this is good, but it seems like in some places you get more points for promising than performing. Also many politicians should keep this in mind.
  • 568. The truth is lost when there is too much contention about it.
  • 571. It is only the ignorant who despise education.
  • 574. Not to punish offenses, is to encourage depravity.
    • Something to think about. Our sentences should fit the crime-neither too light or heavy.
  • 581. It is not every question that deserves an answer
  • 582. He is not likely to perish in the ruins who trembles at a crack in the wall.
  • 585. It is not goodness to be barely better than the worst are.
  • 599. Don't consider how many you can please, but whom.
  • 617. / A guilty conscience never feels secure.
  • 635. There should be no disagreement between our lives and our doctrines.
  • 701. A good reputation is a good man's noblest inheritance.
  • 718. He who violates another's honor loses his own.
  • 720. What it is right to do, should be done at the right time.
  • 735. It is a great grievance when the evil which is past returns again
  • 747. If you delight in the society of the vicious, you are vicious yourself.
  • 760. He who guards against calamities rarely meets them.
  • 761. It is no vice to keep a vice out of sight.
  • 766. It is the height of eloquence to speak in the defense of the innocent.
  • 769. He who praises himself will speedily find a censor.
  • 783. You should tell no one what you wish no one to know.
  • 784. What is it to practice benevolence ? It is to imitate the Deity.
  • 785. It matters not what you are thought to be, but what you are
  • 800. It is the height of folly to blame without knowledge.
  • 818. When you forgive an enemy you gain many friends.
  • 825. He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap
  • 829. It matters not how long you live but how well.
    • Well, maybe it would be nice to live beyond the present moment.
  • 841. Anger stops at nothing.
  • 845. The hour of triumph loves no co-partnership.
  • 846. You can obey a request much better than a command
  • 851. You would not sin so often if you knew some things of which you are ignorant.
  • 852. The eyes and ears of the mob are often false witnesses.
  • 855. There is no more sacred duty than to remember to whom you ' owe yourself.
  • 861. You are eloquent enough if truth speaks through you.
  • 866. Better use medicines at the outset, than at the last moment.
  • 872. / Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.
  • 881. Fear always comes back to curse its authors.
  • 888. To overthrow law, is to destroy our greatest protection.
  • 901. The sight of a thorn is pleasant when there is a rose by its side.
  • 912. It is folly for him to rule over others who cannot govern himself.
  • 913. He is a fool who envies the happiness of the proud.
  • 922. An ultra right is generally an ultra wrong.
    • How so? I am speculating that what he means is that the more right you convince yourself to be, the less you see an error in your thinking, even if the error is small.
  • 930. He knows not when to be silent, who knows not when to speak
  • 940. The highest safety is to fear nought but the Almighty
  • 963. • Why do we not hear the truth ? Because we don't speak it.
  • 964. A lie is truth, when told for one's safety.
    • I wonder about this.
  • 972. No one can honorably refuse to love virtue.
  • 996. A good conscience never utters mere Up-prayers.
  • 997. A man of courage never endures an insult; an honorable man never offers one.
  • 1010. The happy man is not he who seems thus to others, but who seems thus to himself.
  • 1012. Error and repentance are the attendants on hasty decisions.
  • 1027. He who subdues his temper vanquishes his greatest enemy.
  • 1046. You should not lead one life in private and another in public.
  • 1058. When we speak evil of others, we generally condemn ourselves.
  • 1060. Confession of our faults is the next thing to innocence.
  • 1069. It is often better to overlook an injury, than avenge it.
  • 1070.I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
  • 1073. Speech is a mirror of the soul; as a man speaks, so is he.
  • 1082. It is a less evil to be unable to live than not to know how to live.

Evaluation:
This is akin to Twitter of morality in the pre-Christian era. These sayings are the common snippets of how to live a life by an eloquent former slave of the Roman era. It is a nice read, a bit archaic for our times, but still meaningful. Of course, if you listen to just about any religious teachings today on a consistent basis, you will recognize much of the teachings.

But then again, as I am going through some of the highlights of his maxims, I am thinking we as a nation with our political situations, we could learn from him

Never heard of his maxims? How about: A rolling stone gathers no moss?

 
Notes from my book group:

Many of these questions are either from or adapted from LitLovers.
  • Why the title of The Moral Sayings of Pubilius Syrus, a Roman Slave?
  • Do these maxims work better than something like Proverbs in the Bible?
  • Did the ending seem fitting? Satisfying? Predictable?
  • Every writing has a world view. Were you able to identify Pubilius Syrus’ world view? What was it? How did it affect his teachings?
  • In what context was religion talked about in this book?
  • Why do you think the author wrote this book?
  • What would you ask the author if you had a chance?
  • What “takeaways” did you have from this book?
  • What central ideas does the author present?
    • Are they personal, sociological, global, political, economic, spiritual, medical, or scientific
    • What evidence does the author use to support the book's ideas?
      • Is the evidence convincing...definitive or...speculative?
      • Does the author depend on personal opinion, observation, and assessment?
    • What implications for you, our nation or the world do these ideas have?
    • Are these idea’s controversial?
      • To whom and why?
  • How did this book affect your view of the world?
    • Of how God is viewed?
    • What questions did you ask yourself after reading this book?
  • Talk about specific passages that struck you as significant—or interesting, profound, amusing, illuminating, disturbing, sad...?
    • What was memorable?

New Words:
  • Taciturnity: A taciturn person might be snobby, naturally quiet, or just shy. Having its origin in the Latin tacitus, "silent," taciturn came to be used in mid-18th-century English in the sense "habitually silent." Taciturnity is often considered a negative trait, as it suggests someone uncommunicative and too quiet.

Good Quotes:
  • First Line: As men, we are all equal in the presence of death.
  • Last Line: Man’s life is short; and therefore an honorable death is his immortality.
  • 1. As men, we are all equal in the presence of death.
  • 2. The evil you do to others you may expect in return.
  • 37. The loss of a friend is the greatest of losses.
  • 46. We all seek to know whether we shall be rich ; but no one asks whether he shall be good.
  • 104. A good reputation, even in darkness, keeps on shining.
  • 146. Consult your conscience, rather than popular opinion.
  • 173. The greatest of comforts is to be free from blame.
  • 178. The gain acquired at the expense of reputation, should be counted a loss.
  • 217. In place of giving an angry man arms, we should take them away.
  • 237. Even when there is no law, there is conscience.
  • 250. It is easier to add to a great reputation than to get it.
  • 265. What is left when honor is lost?
  • 335. The people are strongest, where the Laws have most power.
  • 336. Victory waits upon unity of action.
  • 389. To do good you should know what good is.
  • 416. When vice is approved, it will soon become intolerable.
  • 429. When you assail truth, you may give loose reins to your tongue.
  • 507. An orator's life is more convincing than his eloquence
  • 528. Never promise more than you can perform
  • 585. It is not goodness to be barely better than the worst are.
  • 635. There should be no disagreement between our lives and our doctrines
  • 689. A merciful man in power is a public blessing.
  • 691. Freedom alone is the source of noble action.
  • 699. When you have good materials, employ good workmen.
  • 769. He who praises himself will speedily find a censor.
  • 784. What is it to practice benevolence ? It is to imitate the Deity.
  • 785. It matters not what you are thought to be, but what you are
  • 855. There is no more sacred duty than to remember to whom you ' owe yourself.
  • 861. You are eloquent enough if truth speaks through you.
  • 963. • Why do we not hear the truth ? Because we don't speak it.
  • 1058. When we speak evil of others, we generally condemn ourselves

References:


      Wednesday, April 8, 2020

      Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

      Book: Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons From The Crematory
      Basic Information : Synopsis : Characters : Expectations : Thoughts : Evaluation : Book Group : New Words : Book References : Good Quotes : Table of Contents : References

      Basic Information:

      Author: Caitlin Doughty
      Edition: epub on Libby from the Los Angeles Public Library
      Publisher: W. W. Norton Company
      ISBN: 0393351904 (ISBN13: 9780393351903)
      Start Date: March 30, 2020
      Read Date: April 8, 2020
      254 pages
      Genre: Biography, Essay, Personal Growth
      Language Warning: Low
      Rated Overall: 4 out of 5

      History: 2 out of 5

      Religion: None
      Religious Quality: 2 out of 5
      Christianity-Teaching Quality: 1 out of 5


      Synopsis (Caution: Spoiler Alert-Jump to Thoughts):
      Caitlin Doughty goes through her life experiences, mostly concentrating on when she started as a cremator in Oakland, CA. This extends to when she graduated from mortuary school and became a professional funeral director. The book is a combination of experiences mixed in with her thoughts on how bodies should be treated after death. She concludes with an essay on preparations you make for your body after death.


      Cast of Characters:
      Caitlin Doughty-author and central figure in book
      Michael Tom-funeral director
      Chris Reynolds-Body retriever
      Bruce WIlliams-Embalmer
      Jason Bruce-another funeral worker
      Luke-imaginary lover


      Expectations:
      • Recommendation: Peter J
      • When: March 6, 2020
      • Date Became Aware of Book: March 6, 2020
      • How come do I want to read this book: Peter recommended it because of another book I read, The Art of Dying Well.
      • What do I think I will get out of it? Hopefully more perspective on dying.


      Thoughts:
      It looks like Caitlin Doughty has started up several web sites. Which makes you wonder about how she is really processing death and her organization skills.


      Author’s Note
      Introduction to death.

      According to Doughty, death drives every creative and destructive impulse that we as humans have. She then goes on and says that until we understand death [maybe our reaction to death?] we will not understand ourselves. I take this as being the reason for the book and what she wants us to get out of it.


      Shaving Byron
      She talks about her first day being the technician who operates the cremation machine. Her first task is to shave a man so that his relatives can have one last viewing of him.


      She talks about Byron. At first with disgust. Then she elevates him to being a magical creature. I think even in death, the way we are described is a little lower than angels and loved by God.


      Puppy Surprise


      Is death glamourous? No. She finds this out with Padma where Padma had been badly disfigured by a disease. Repulsive. This was just a more extreme example what death and the lead up to death entailed.

      The deterteration of people as they die makes us feel like they must be in pain. But that is not necessarily so.


      The Thud

      Doughty tells the story of a fish they had bought. It dies. The mother tries to break it in gently. But both Doughty and her father is in on it and have replaced the fish. The mom is startled when the fish moves. Doughty’s comment is that the sole purpose of its short fish life is to give my mother a heart attack.

      She witnessed a young child fall 30’ off of an escalator in a mall and die. This brought the realization that Doughty would die. Then If others possess this knowledge, I wondered, how could they possibly live with it? Doughty goes from humor in death to a really pungent thought. It does not seem abrupt in her writing. But how do you live that you may die at any moment? I think if it is constant in your thoughts, then you would go crazy. But you do need that thought to help you understand your place in this world and to cause you to think about deeper things. Like why are you here? Is there a God? What happens to me afterwards? With the COVID-19 that all has become a very real possibility. I wonder how others are coping? Do they ignore death? Do they seek a deeper spirituality? Do they fall into despair?

      Cognitive-behavioral therapy: a type of psychotherapy in which negative patterns of thought about the self and the world are challenged in order to alter unwanted behavior patterns or treat mood disorders such as depression.

      Doughty goes back and wonders if her ideas of death would be different if she was introduced to death as she was developing rather than suddenly thrust into that world. In some way, she saw that working at a mortuary was to help fix her perspectives on death.


      Toothpicks in Jell-O
      Doughty traces how death has become much more anapestic. A hundred years ago, most deaths happened at home. Now they happen in facilities either hospitals or places which are used by older people. Death has become more hygienic and much more controlled by others besides those who are close to the dying.

      From Doughty’s perspective, how the medical establishment feels is that when someone dies, it is a failure on their part. But there is a feeling the family and friends should not be upset by the process. You sort of see this during the current crisis. There is high stress as large numbers of people are doing. 80% of the people who have to be assisted breathing die. And the medical staff look determined to fight, but also look like they know they are fighting a losing battle. Nothing about this is saying they should give up. Just there has to be another way to look at this than everybody can be saved.


      Push the Button
      If a family opts to attend the cremation, they are offered the opportunity to start the cremators. But this chapter is really about suicide.


      She describes that a young man stepped in front of a BART train and got himself killed. She supported his decision to kill himself, if he wanted to. But not how it affected others-such as the train operator, the spectators and the others. She says that it seems fair to do it in a way which does the least harm to others. She also notes that the average train operator will kill three people over their career.

      Our brains as humans have developed over the millennials to understand our own mortality. So what do we do with that?

      Doughty points out that our ability to mourn connects us to something greater than ourselves.

      Given Doughty’s own view of after death, it is not a surprise that she views suicide as a viable way out of life.


      Pink Cocktail
      The ceremonies of death are going through, from some remote tribes which would eat their dead to our more modern ways of disposing of remains.

      She talks about anthropologist Clifford Geertz calls webs of significance. If I understand the term(from Wikipedia), it means that actions of a culture have larger significance than the act. The Wari’people live in the jungles of Brazil. When one of their tribe members dies, they feel the tribe has been violated. A visual is that each family will pull a rafter beam from their roof, causing the roof to sag-a symbolic reminder of the rift the death has caused. Then the body is cut into pieces and roasted, and then eaten by the like-blood of the person (in-law’s, friends, … This was because they were aghast to have a body in the ground. It was a comfort to have the body completely disappeared from the community. Wikipedia has a different version of this where only a little bit of the body is eaten.

      Every culture has death rituals with the power to shock the uninitiated and challenge our personal web of significance. We embalm the dead, but it is not a religious or spiritual significant action. According to Doughty it just brings another $900 charge to the bill.


      Demon Babies

      It seems like Doughty is very unsure of herself. Anytime she is told to do something she has not done before, she wants very explicit instruction. In her terms, she does not want to mess up. This is in contrast with wanting to do the job right.


      Direct Disposal


      There is a short couple of paragraphs where Doughty talks about the leanness of concern in the online community. Her mother, Doughty thinks, would say they can order Chinese takeout online, so why not an online cremation? Doughty also thinks that there probably would not be any Facebook friends who would give physical comfort to a dying person.

      In The American Way of Death by Jessica Mitford, Doughty finds that the author is trying to get a better price for funerals. Doughty thinks the real issue is death itself. Death is taken away from us and hidden. We no longer have pause to consider our own death.


      Unnatural Natural
      Doughty points out that in the effort to make people appear more natural, they need to use a lot of unnatural activities, such as embalming. Also the term lifelike has fallen out of favor-too scary to see a corpse being lifelike. Now they use the term natural.

      When a “plump” older woman was cremated, pools of fat did not burn, but melted onto the floor. Doughty recognizes that what a mortuary does is take away the death process from people. She states that Death should be known.
       
      Working in a mortuary made Doughty understand there are some emotions she had not tapped into nor did she know she was capable of.

      What we do in the United States to hide death, if known, has the power to change people’s ideas of what they want done with a body. Doughty feels rather than denying what happens, we should be embracing it.


      Alas, Poor Yorick
      Talks about what happens to you when you donate your body to science.

      When you donate your body to science, it is done in a very general way. You do not get to choose where it ends up or how it will be used

      Premation-sort of an inside joke, a play on the word cremation, not really a word. Someone had to have their leg amputated and sent it in to be cremated.

      Doughty notes that cremation is not necessarily a “pure” thing. As the machine gets used more and more, a little bit of the machine gets embedded into the remains. Also not all of the remains get swept into the urn. Some of it is left behind. What Doughty does not say is that by inference, some of the remains you get in the urn may be of someone else.


      Eros and Thanatos


      Bubblatin

      She notes that these days you will never see a body decay as we are very intent on letting the “professionals” take care of the body rather than us.

      Doughty holds up Edward Abbey as an example of rebelling against the way funerals and burials are held. Roughly, some friends stole his body, went out into the desert and buried him. See Wikipedia

      And then are the churches. Such as the Missions, you had people buried inside of the mission, especially the important ones. Other churches such as in England or New England you see this as well.

      The nine steps to Buddhist mortification of lust and desire are talked about:
      • Distension
      • Rupture
      • Exudation of blood
      • Putrefaction
      • Discoloration and desiccation
      • Consumption by animals and birds
      • Dismemberment
      • Bones
      • Parched to dust
      She notes that there is nothing like consistent exposure to dead bodies to remove the trepidation attached to dead bodies. Sort of like the therapy given to overcome fright of anything. She goes on that we as a society need to be in contact with bodies which are decomposing. She says that we live in a culture of death denial. Interesting phrase. Particularly now with the Covid-19 virus killing off people all o\ver the world, including the United States.


      Ghusl

      Corpses keep the living tethered to reality.

      She reports that in Muslim tradition, Ghusl is an honor. The person(s) selected to do this is selected by the dying person themselves. They wash and shroud the person.

      Doughty’s view is that once you are dead, that is it. No after-life. You are done. But she really does not elaborate on this. This would be unusual for a person who views you need to view life through death. What does this say about life? Why live it? Why not just get it over quickly and painlessly. Even pleasure would not matter.


      Solo Witness


      The Redwoods
      Doughty takes steps toward suicide. But decides not to.

      Each vocation is a calling. Doughty notes she felt a calling to be in the death practice. Even though she was a person who did not believe in religious practices, she felt it anyway. Having a purpose was nothing short of exhilarating. There is a lot to unpack in this. First, who was doing the calling of her to work as a death practitioner? She does not say that. She does not even talk about why she felt called, even though this book is a wander down that path. She may just mean a general inclination, like a vocational counseling directing a student onto a path, which makes her use of the word calling pretty imprecise. Then there is a purpose part of the section. I agree, having a purpose leads one to being able to work through things. It is when you exhibit nothing calling or purpose-one leads to the other, does that lead to depression and anger.

      This sense of exhilaration needs to be shared. When her love interest rejects her, she no longer feels a desire to live. This she describes as a kind of death. A friendship crumbles to dust. Heartbreaking.

      Her internal narrative is depressing. She now knows that she belongs to death. Her friend was the way out for her. I wonder if she ever heard how Paul described death being conquered. There is another way for this. Paul says:
      Death has been swallowed up in victory.”
      Where, O death, is your victory?
      Where, O death, is your sting?”
      I prefer the triumphant description Paul talks about than the Go silently into the night thinking which Doughty describes.

      After the disaster with her former friend and lost love, she goes up to the Redwood State/National Park. She tries to find the Cathedral Tree Trail only to be totally disoriented. This causes a suicidal rage and she rushes to run her vehicle over a cliff. But she collects herself and asks for directions to the trail. Two thoughts: Doughty at this stage of her life does not seem to be in control of herself and her emotions. Wandering lost and aimless can lead to rage. Of course, with the right perspective, you can use it just to wander and enjoy. When you go with the thoughts in the previous paragraph, you wonder about the ultimate leading of her own worldview. The second is more prosaic. She was trying to find this trail which goes out of the park’s visitor center in a car? What was she really expecting?

      After finding solitude on this short trail, she sees things in a different perspective. When she comes back, she sees a meadow chock-full of vibrant colored flowers. A whole new look on things.

      The only thing that’s certain is nothing ever is.


      Deth Skool
      Experiences at mortuary school

      First, I do not like the slang take for the chapter heading.

      She notes that lifelike is no longer the correct term-too many people think the dead will come back. They now like natural. As Doughty points out, what is natural about making up a corpse?

      Not sure why she went to mortuary school. She notes that The longer you spend doing something you don’t believe in , the more the systems of your body rebel. So why did she continue?


      Body Van
      Her first job after graduating from mortuary school was to pick up bodies.

      She drove 350 miles in the LA - San Diego area picking bodies.

      She makes statements which I would not take as gospel truth, but more as direction of thinking. Such as there has never been a time in history of the world when a culture has broken so completely with traditional methods of body disposition and beliefs surrounding mortality. The reason why I make my statement is that she does not have any references to where she gets this statement. Personal research? What authority? …

      She had stated a series of essays under the heading of The Order of the Good Death.

      Black Death-one in which there is no preparation. Where did she get this I wonder. Wikipedia makes no mention of this-nor could I find it in a brief gander at Buddhist pages.

      She relates an incident where one of the wheels on her Volkswagen came off on the freeway. She spun out of control into oncoming traffic. But did not get hit. Her comment is that My fear of fragmentation was born from fearing the loss of control. This fragmentation is in relationship to her body being fragmented.


      The Art of Dying


      From the University of Iowa.

      She writes that comes 2020 there will be a huge shortage of physicians and caretakers. I do not think she had foresight in knowing about the Covid-19 virus pandemic. The book was copyrighted in 2014.

      She uses the phrase active dying. By this I think she means that we will be more dying than living and not just the last couple of months, but many years. That the person will not be able to function like a human, but not dead yet. She says that most American will be this way due to modern science.

      As a mortuary person she notes that we need to move or we will start decomposing, even if we are alive.

      Doctors or those training to be some would rather face drudgery of other things than to tell a patient that they are dying. The reason according to Atul Gawande is that people, particularly physicians, do not want to face their own mortality.

      As a people, we do not want to face our own mortality either. We do not want to think about AHCD’s, POSTL’s, DNR’s, or other end of life things while we are still able to. Doughty thinks we are short-changing our loved one.

      She quotes Kafka: The meaning of life is that it ends. Written in a private letter. This is something which Doughty believes. As said above, I do not think this is true. Furthermore I do not think it is something livable. Why? Because if that is the end of things, then why keep living? Why perpetuate the human race?

      It is never too early to be thinking about your death, or those around you.

      If you think about death now, then you can concentrate on grief of a loved one instead of the questions you could be asking yourself-why death or this death? Why is this happening to me? Of course, this really depends on your own view of death.


      Prodigal Daughter
      Her thoughts at the end of the process.

      She now views a corpse as something beautiful, particularly when prepared by their own family.

      Unable how to choose how I would die physically, I could only choose how I would die mentally.
       

      Evaluation:
      First of all, I will thank Peter for recommending this book to me. It is not the type of book which I would normally pick up. And you might ask, why isn’t it? Mostly because of a perceived lack of depth in most modern writings. And now that I have said that…

      I think that Doughty’s book is a book well worth reading. As a writer, she is gifted with words. She also is tackling a subject matter which is not commonly spoken about-what should you do with a body after death. There are many thought provoking things she goes through. Such as, how do we treat bodies after death? Should our treatment be more personal?

      She does this in the context of her life. She starts off the book with her first cremation. Yes, she is in the death industry, as she puts it. From there, much of the book is about experiences and thoughts while she worked in a low-cost mortuary in Oakland, CA. She ends up going to mortuary school and being repulsed by what she learns. But she continues in the industry. She gives a brief talk about what she is doing now to move the death of a loved one into a more personal experience.

      This is a book I will recommend reading, if for no other purpose than to get your thoughts moving in the direction of why we do what we do with bodies after death. But it is also worth reading to gather in how she uses words and weaves a story.

      Doughty’s book and her thinking has one basic, fatal-if you like-flaw. That is her view of death. She views death as being the final statement on life. I go with St Paul when he says, Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? If you go with Doughty, she writes well and in many places leaves you wanting more. But if you go that life does not end with death, then the end is not an accurate description. That is up to you to decide.

       
      Notes from my book group:
      Many of these questions are either from or adapted from LitLovers.
      • Why the title of Smoke Gets In Your Eyes?
      • Does this book work better as a biography or a tract on death?
      • Did the ending seem fitting? Satisfying? Predictable?
      • Every story has a world view. Were you able to identify this story’s world view? What was it? How did it affect the story?
      • In what context was religion talked about in this book?
      • Was there anybody you would consider religious?
        • How did they show it?
        • Was the book overtly religious?
        • How did it affect the books story?
      • Why do you think the author wrote this book?
      • What would you ask the author if you had a chance?
      • What “take aways” did you have from this book?
      • What central ideas does the author present?
        • Are they personal, sociological, global, or spiritual?
        • What evidence does the author use to support the book's ideas?
          • Is the evidence convincing...definitive or...speculative?
          • Does the author depend on personal opinion, observation, and assessment? Or is the evidence factual—based on science, statistics, historical documents, or quotations from (credible) experts?
        • Are these idea’s controversial?
          • To whom and why?
      • Are there solutions which the author presents?
        • Do they seem workable? Practicable?
        • How would you implement them?
      • How did this book affect your view of the world?
        • Of how God is viewed?
        • What questions did you ask yourself after reading this book?
      • Talk about specific passages that struck you as significant—or interesting, profound, amusing, illuminating, disturbing, sad...?
        • What was memorable?
      ====
      From WW Norton’s Website

      A message from Caitlin Doughty

      Hello, mortal:It seems you have completed Smoke Gets in Your Eyes. Whether you loved or hated the book, you've faced your own mortality—and for that I commend you.This is an excellent first step, but it doesn't stop here. Reading the book should be a jumping-off point to larger discussions with your friends, family, partners, and school and reading groups. Those discussions will lead to action, and soon enough you'll be the most death-prepared person you know.Your relationship with the prospect of death is a lifelong one. It will change and grow; there will be good days and bad days. But it will also be one of the more enriching relationships in your life. You do yourself many favors by preparing for—and having open conversations about—death and dying.

      Discussion Questions

      • What was the most "death-changing" fact you learned from Smoke Gets in Your Eyes?
      • Do you discuss your end-of-life wishes with friends and family? Are there stories in Smoke Gets in Your Eyes that have changed the way you feel about those wishes or your plans to share them with others?
      • To what extent do you think entrenched thinking—laws, customs, taboos—has informed the way you think about end-of-life care? What has reading Smoke Gets in Your Eyes revealed to you about those learned behaviors?
      • Did you find the history of the American death industry surprising? Are its origins and its current state something you've thought about? Something you took for granted?
      • What does death positivity mean to you? How could that meaning be different for different people and societies?
      • What constitutes quality of life for an individual? Could there ever be said to be a standard? How does this question influence how we treat death in this country?
      • Did you find some material in Smoke Gets in Your Eyes challenging to read? How have those passages contributed to your thinking about death?
      • How do you think the media should address death and bodies when covering tragedies? What influence does the media have over the way we think about death today?
      • What resources do you turn to in order to help guide your thinking about death and end-of-life choices? What resources do you turn to help guide your thinking about death and end-of-life choices? (See below for a list of resources recommended by Caitlin.)
      • If you could ask Caitlin one question after reading the book, what would it be?

      =====
      Questions from the Cake book site


      Smoke Gets in Your Eyes is an intentionally challenging read. Take a few moments to reflect on your newfound understanding of death and the modern funeral industry. These Smoke Gets in Your Eyes discussion questions will help you understand this reading:
      • How does the history of funeral practices relate to modern funerals?
      • Doughty expands upon death through the ages, touching on Egyptian embalming, medieval practices, and eastern tradition. Which of these cultural practices appeals the most to you and why?
      • Why do you think death and the treatment of dead bodies become a taboo topic in our society?
      • Think of a funeral you’ve been to in your life. How does Doughty’s experience compare to your understanding of this event?
      • How has this book affected your perspective on the business and industry behind funerals?
      • Now that you know the realities of funeral practices, how have you begun to think about your own end-of-life planning?
      • Doughty recently began a movement she calls the “Order of the Good Death.” What does the good fight for the good death mean to you?


      New Words:
      • Anthropophagy (Push the Button): the eating of human flesh by human beings.
      • Trocar (Pink Cocktail): a surgical instrument with a three-sided cutting point enclosed in a tube, used for withdrawing fluid from a body cavity.
      • Desquamation (Unnatural Natural): French-peeling
      • Hermaphrodites (Alas, Poor Yorick): a person or animal having both male and female sex organs or other sexual characteristics, either abnormally or (in the case of some organisms) as the natural condition.
      • esoterica (Alas, Poor Yorick): esoteric or highly specialized subjects or publications.
      • Schmaltzy tchotchkes (Alas, Poor Yorick): A small piece of worthless crap, a decorative knick knack with little or no purpose.
      • Exudation (Bubblatin): a fluid emitted by an organism through pores or a wound
      • desiccation (Bubblatin): the removal of moisture from something
      • Dendritic (Body Van): having a branched form resembling a tree.
      Book References:
      • The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving
      • Inferno by Dante
      • Twilight of the Idols by Fredrick Nietzsche
      • On Cannibals by Michel de Montaigne
      • Malleus Maleficarum by Heinrich Kramer
      • The Loved One by Evelyn Waugh
      • The American Way of Death by Jessica Mitford
      • L’Homme devant la mort by Philippe Aries
      • The Torture Garden by Octave Mirbeau
      • Explosion in a Cathedral by Alejo Carpentier

      Good Quotes:
        • First Line: According to a journalist’s eyewitness account, Mata Hari, the famous exotic dancer turned World War I spy, refused to wear a blindfold when executed by a French firing squad in 1917.
        • Last Line: The silence of death , of the cemetery, was no punishment, but a reward for a life well lived.
        • Looking mortality straight in the eye is no easy feat. Author’s Note.
        • As men, we are all equal in the presence of death. Publilius Syrus, The Moral Sayings of Publius Syrus, a Roman Slave, Maxim 1
        • Having a purpose was nothing short of exhilarating. Chp The Redwoods
        • The only thing that’s certain is nothing ever is. Chp The Redwoods
        • The longer you spend doing something you don’t believe in , the more the systems of your body rebel. Chp Deth Skool
        • Unable how to choose how I would die physically, I could only choose how I would die mentally. Chp Prodigal Daughter
          Table of Contents:
          • Author's Note
          • Shaving Byron
          • Puppy Surprise
          • The Thud
          • Toothpicks in Jell-O
          • Push the Button
          • Pink Cocktail
          • Demon Babies
          • Direct Disposal
          • Unnatural Natural
          • Alas, Poor Yorick
          • Eros and Thanatos
          • Bubblatin
          • Ghusl
          • Solo Witness
          • The Redwoods
          • Deth Skool
          • Body Van
          • The Art of Dying
          • Prodigal Daughter
          • Acknowledgments
          • Notes on Sources

          References: