Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Pride and Prejudice

Book:Pride and Prejudice
Basic Information : Synopsis : Thoughts : Evaluation : Book Group : New Words : Good QuotesReferences

Basic Information:
Author: Jane Austen
Edition: eBook from Guttenberg
Read: April 5, 2017
353 pages
Genre:  Fiction
Rated: 5 out of 5

Synopsis:
Simply said-the Bennett family has five daughters and they all need to get married. How to do it is the question. Of the five daughters, three of their stories are told: Elizabeth, Jane and Lydia.  How they get married and to whom is the story line

Rather than going through the who elaborate and interwoven set of stories, Wikipedia has a perfectly good story synopsis, along with charts showing character relationships and descriptions. Please take a look there.


Thoughts:
The love of books by Elizabeth and Jane is what first caught my attention in this book. For the first few chapters these women had books in their hands, enjoying them, particularly Elizabeth. I am not sure that Mary enjoys her books, but at least she is reading. The other two sisters, Lydia and Kitty are almost illiterate.

Pride and Prejudice. These are themed throughout the book. But with the skill Austen has, you do not notice them as as much until at the end you understand that the title really should have been, Pride and Prejudice Overcame By Love. You see how both pride and prejudice kept Darcy and Elizabeth apart, but how some force, they are still brought together.


Chapter 1
You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it." Mrs Bennet is always interrupting Mr. Bennet. Mr Bennet plays along with this propensity, stringing his wife along until she is ready to hear from him.

Mr. Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three-and-twenty years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his character. This is a serious flaw in Mrs Bennet. She does not take the time to observe and understand her husband. You wonder how true this is when we see others-we take a first approximation and just leave it at that without delving deeper. I suspect that most people are worth at least a second look. We just need the eyes and ears to see and hear them.


Chapter 3
To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love.  But what about those uncoordinated fellows like myself? Were we destined never to fall in love?


Chapter 4
I would not wish to be hasty in censuring anyone; but I always speak what I think This was said by Elizabeth to her sister Jane. I think being plain spoken is  good. But I am not sure that is always good. Sometimes our thoughts can be better said in a different way than thought. Maybe with caring instead of gruffness, understanding instead of. And then I think of GK Chesterton saying in A Man Called Thursday:
I should think very little of a man
 who didn't keep something in the background of his life
 that was more serious than all this talking.


Chapter 6
there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement. Interesting statement. I think that Austen means by the nudging of others so that they become a couple. That may have been true then, but now, I do not see much reluctance in becoming a couple.

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.  On the surface, this seems to be true even now. But beyond the sight of others I think a happy couple works at it, sacrificing for each other and enjoying each other’s company.

They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life. Is this true? I do not think so. I do not think a complete laundry list is advisable either. But at least you should know the general character of your potential life-long partner.

Mary had neither genius nor taste; and though vanity had given her application, it had given her likewise a pedantic air and conceited manner, Is this the most damning statement in the book?



Chapter 7
their minds were more vacant than their sisters. I stand corrected about damning statements. This talks about Lydia and Kitty.

From all that I can collect by your manner of talking, you must be two of the silliest girls in the country. I have suspected it some time, but I am now convinced. Really sounds like there is not much to redeem with Lydia and Kitty. They had better get married while they are young because they never will on their intelligence.

"I admire the activity of your benevolence," observed Mary, "but every impulse of feeling should be guided by reason; and, in my opinion, exertion should always be in proportion to what is required." I suppose someplace in this mess of a statement there is something to think about. Instead this is a sample of Mary who tries real hard to be intelligent , but comes up with pretty pedantic stuff.


Chapter 8
I cannot comprehend the neglect of a family library in such days as these. Or any day I should say.

no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. Not sure what this means, but it sounds like it should mean something.

"All this she must possess," added Darcy, "and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.” Darcy not only wants someone to run the house and look attractive, but also be able to talk with and plan with.


Chapter 9
But people themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them for ever. This is said by Elizabeth in connection with a conversation on the character of people. There are people who change so much and so often that you never know if there is a real person inside of them.

I can be equally happy in either. Said by Mr Bingley in reference to his preference of city or country. A man who can be happy wherever he is. That is good contentment.

I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love! I wonder if this resonates with me because I never understood poetry?


Chapter 10
My ideas flow so rapidly that I have not time to express them—by which means my letters sometimes convey no ideas at all to my correspondents. In this day and age, that could be said about a lot of e-mails. While letters seems to be more of a means to have thoughtful communications.

Nothing is more deceitful," said Darcy, "than the appearance of humility. Being humble is nothing to either try for or appear to have or even to defend that you are humble. Those very acts tend to remove the cloak of humility and work pride into the equation.

The power of doing anything with quickness is always prized much by the possessor, and often without any attention to the imperfection of the performance. I could write a paper on this one. Instead, let us just leave it as Austen said it.

what is there so very laudable in a precipitance which must leave very necessary business undone, and can be of no real advantage to yourself or anyone else?

this is too much, to remember at night all the foolish things that were said in the morning. A good way to keep relationships.

To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding Elizabeth is arguing with Darcy. Darcy is talking about if you yield to a friends wishes without approving of the friends wishes, there is not merit in doing so. Elizabeth’s argument is that you need to understand why your friend wants something.



Chapter 11
The wisest and the best of men—nay, the wisest and best of their actions—may be rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life is a joke. There is sometimes I feel like I am guilty of this sin. A good reminder that by demeaning something serious you demean a person.

I hope I never ridicule what is wise and good. True


Chapter 15
Mr. Collins was not a sensible man, and the deficiency of nature had been but little assisted by education or society; Your surroundings or even education cannot overcome self-serving, get ahead manners.

being in fact much better fitted for a walker than a reader. But why not both? This was a description of Mr. Collins when asked to go for a walk when he was reading. He found reading and the knowledge gained from there to be of little use.

Chapter 18
Elizabeth was not formed for ill-humour; Is this to be counted as a virtue for Elizabeth? Or is because your temperament which is part of you, not developed anything to be praised for? The development of such a temperament is something, not the form you took at birth. On the other hand, it is nice to be around such a person.

This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I am sure," said he. Each of them is silent unless they have something to say. Both are taken to as if they are too good for their surroundings. But darcy comes back with this rejoinder after Elizabeth states it.

The present always occupies you in such scenes. Just after Elizabeth says that in a ballroom her head cannot be in book.

It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first.  If we are never going to change, we had better be right in the first place.


Chapter 24
The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it That can come from two sources. 1) You see the potential for it. God has endowed our world and us with all sorts of potential and we fall so woefully short. Even Syphilis pushing his rock locks like a good endeavor compared to our efforts. 2) We see the evil which we willfully do.

that the woman who married him cannot have a proper way of thinking.  This is said with Mr. Collins. Elizabeth is concerned with her friend and cousin, Charlotte.  But later on we find that Charlotte has figured out how to have Mr. Collins happy and herself content without him having the slightest notion he is being manipulated.

...without scheming to do wrong, or to make others unhappy, there may be error, and there may be misery. I suspect in our attempt to do good, many a time our aim is amiss and we do the unintended harm.


Chapter 27
Where does discretion end, and avarice begin. This is speaking of marrying well. Austen points out that our motives for marrying, but in reality for all things, can be intertwined. Such as where does saving for retirement look like prudence and it being frugal or stingy? This really gets to the place of inner motivations. We cannot really know others. We can only know ourselves. And even then, we can trick ourselves into thinking we are going down a path of goodness, when we are on a gradual decline. It seems to me that it is better not to take short cuts, but to be good at the beginning so there is no issue about if I am doing something wrong. I know what my motives are then, it is more of a matter do I have the wisdom to do the good thing.

Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing, after all. Elizabeth says this in a fit of frustration. At times this may be the wise move, at least of the person is not full of conceit.

What are young men to rocks and mountains? Elizabeth’s exclamation when she learns she has been invited to go on vacation with her uncle and aunt.

Chapter 28
every view was pointed out with a minuteness which left beauty entirely behind.  There is something about not naming everything and just absorbing. Same way with taking pictures. Sometimes it is better to just see with one’s eyes than be calculating a good shot.

Chapter 29
Every park has its beauty

Chapter 36
who have prided myself on my discernment. We all can be fooled, we can all see only what we either want to see or what others want us to see. A lesson to continually learn.

vanity, not love, has been my folly

Chapter 42
true philosopher will derive benefit from such as are given.   In this case, Mr Bennett had married a person like Lydia, someone who had energy more than brains. He enjoyed libraries rather than company.  Austen points out that the philosopher will be able to look for reason anywhere, even in places he might find unpleasant.


Chapter 43
She had never seen a place for which nature had done more, or where natural beauty had been so little counteracted by an awkward taste. So often when man “improves” upon nature, he forgets that it is not to replace nature, nor can you be better. You can understand the contours of nature, but you cannot make it better.

real elegance-this phrase contrasts Darcy with many of the people who Elizabeth knows.


Chapter 44
She endeavoured to give pleasure were prepossessed in her favour. Bingley was ready, Georgiana was eager, and Darcy determined, to be pleased. After all kinds of rocky starts with Darcy and Bingley, Elizabeth now decides to go all out for them, to make a favorable impression.


Chapter 48

The death of your daughter would have been a blessing in comparison of this. And it is the more to be lamented. This is in a letter from Mr. Collins to Mr. Bennett concerning Lydia running off with Wickham. He goes to admonish Mr Bennett this is really Mr. Bennett’s fault to allow such a behavior. There is a reason why Elizabeth did not want to marry Mr. Collins.


Chapter 50
When the first transports of rage which had produced his activity in seeking her were over, he naturally returned to all his former indolence. Mr Bennett is not one who likes to have his quiet broken and Lydia broke the tranquility which he had come to expect. On top of that, Lydia’s boyfriend, Wickham, was demanding money for him to marry her after the disgrace he lead her through. But once on the move, Mr. Bennett acted fast to return to his normal tranquility

because with such an husband her misery was considered certain. Speaking of Wickham’s character and Lydia’s choice.


Chapter 55
And this," said she, "is the end of all his friend's anxious circumspection! of all his sister's falsehood and contrivance! the happiest, wisest, most reasonable end!" The thoughts of Elizabeth about marrying Darcy after being so opposed to him for so long.

"If you were to give me forty such men, I never could be so happy as you. Till I have your disposition, your goodness, I never can have your happiness. Speaking about Jane.


Chapter 57
I should very strenuously have opposed it. You ought certainly to forgive them, as a Christian, but never to admit them in your sight, or allow their names to be mentioned in your hearing.' That is his notion of Christian forgiveness! I wonder what Christian forgiveness he is talking about-that is Mr Collins, who is a parish minister. I think Austen is mocking ministers who are in name only Christian without the relationship or spirituality behind it.




Chapter 60
I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun. Darcy explaining how he fell in love with Elizabeth. He did not know he was in love until he was in love. Sort of a good thing, otherwise it might take us forever to be a couple.

To be sure, you knew no actual good of me—but nobody thinks of that when they fall in love.

My good qualities are under your protection, and you are to exaggerate them as much as possible; While a spouse should know their spouse’s bad characteristics, they should not be mindful of them.

though the uncomfortable feelings arising from all this took from the season of courtship much of its pleasure  In this case, Darcy and Elizabeth spent much of their courtship trying not to love each each. This did deprive them of the joy which comes during this time. On the other hand, they were very sure of each other. This sureness will last a lifetime rather than a season. Sounds like a good bargain.


Evaluation:
When this became part of my book groups selection to read, I was thinking, oh well, I guess I need to read this because it is a classic after all, but I do not need to like it. I was first drawn in with the leading figures of this book all being thoughtful and well read. Then with the tension between the characters. And then finally the goodness portrayed here.  

The book was well written and interesting. Just the dynamics between all of the characters made it a worthwhile read.

 
Notes from my book group:

My questions:
  • In a statement which would never make it today, Austen suggests that in order to marry well a woman must be pretty, respectable, and have money. Why is the appropriate starting point for the book? Is this true today?
  • Which character did you empathize with? Which character left you sort of blah? What would their Facebook pages be like?
    Charolette-empathized with
  • What functions does marriage play in this book? Where does romance fit in? Calling? Does it seem more functional than idealized? Is that good?
  • What do we learn about Pride? About Prejudice?
    Pride comes off worse as an initial look
  • If you were Darcy, would you have chosen Mrs Bennett as your mother-in-law?
  • Except for Mrs. Bennett, was Mr Bennett’s life ideal?
  • Lydia and Wickham seem to be made for each other. How so, or why not? Did they get what they deserve? Do we get what we deserve?
  • Somebody has counted that there is 59 letters in this book. How effective are they? What do you they convey which dialogue or narrative could not?
  • What lessons were learned by the time we finish with Pride and Prejudice?
  • Why is this book so popular?

From Heather Parish's OSHER class on Jane Austen, Spring 2019
  1. Marriage, as something to be aspired to, is portrayed quite differently in the novel than existing marriages. What married couples do we see in the novel? How would you characterize these relationships?
  2. How are Elizabeth's wite and intelligence and independence first made clear in the novel? In what ways, during the course of the novel. is she the victim of her own intellect and indepence? Are these features eventually responsible for her happy ending?
  3. The love Elizabeth feels towards Mr. Darcy evolves and deepens largely without direct contact. Does that make you question that love? What causes these feelings of love? Are they realistic?
  4. Why is Darcy so attracted to Elizabeth? When can we first sense this? Why does it take her so long to see it? Elizabeth's attraction to Darcy arises very differently. Why is this important?
  5. How does the title Pride and Prejudice suggest themes of the work?
  6. How does the novel portray a narrow mindedness in the people from this time period?
  7. In what ways is the novel idealistic? In what ways is it cynical?
  8. In Pride and Prejudice, marriage serves many functions: romance, financial, social regulaation. How does this compare to marriage or relationships in the 21st century?
  9. Pride and Prejudice is a novel largely about love and relationships, but without any descriptions of passion. What do you think the 21st century take-aways from the novel may be?
1. Pride and Prejudice is probably Austen's most famous, most beloved book. One element, the initial mutual dislike of two people destined to love each other, has become a cliché of the Hollywood romance. I'm sure you can think of numerous examples.
This book has been described by scholars as a very conservative text. Did you find it so? What sort of position do you see it taking on the class system? It has also been described as Austen's most idealistic book. What do you suppose is meant by that?
2. In 1814 Mary Russell Mitford wrote: "It is impossible not to feel in every line of Pride and Prejudice...the entire want of taste which could produce so pert, so worldly a heroine as the beloved of such a man as Darcy.... Darcy should have married Jane."
  • Would you have liked the book as well if Jane were its heroine?
  • Have you ever seen a movie version in which the woman playing Jane was, as Austen imagined her, truly more beautiful than the woman playing Elizabeth?
Who doesn't love Elizabeth Bennet?!!
3. Two central characters in Austen have her own first name.
  • In Emma: Jane Fairfax is a decorous, talented, beautiful woman.
  • In Pride and Prejudice: Jane Bennet is everything lovely.
What do you make of that?
4. Lydia and Wickham pose a danger to the Bennet family as long as they are unmarried and unchecked. But as a married couple, with little improvement in their behavior, this danger vanishes.
In Pride and Prejudice marriage serves many functions. It is a romantic union, a financial merger, and a vehicle for social regulation. Scholar and writer Mary Poovey said that Austen's goal "is to make propriety and romantic desire absolutely congruent."
  • Think about all the marriages in the book with respect to how well they are fulfilling those functions.
  • Is marriage today still an institution of social regulation?
  • What about it would change if gay marriage were legally recognized?
5. Austen suggests that in order to marry well a woman must be pretty, respectable, and have money. In the world of Pride and Prejudice, which of these is most important? Spare a thought for some of the unmarried women in the book—Mary and Kitty Bennet, Miss de Bourgh, Miss Georgiana Darcy, poor, disappointed Caroline Bingley. Which of them do you picture marrying some day? Which of them do you picture marrying well?
6. Was Charlotte Lucas right to marry Reverend Collins?
7. What are your feelings about Mr. Bennet? Is he a good father? A good husband? A good man?
8. Darcy says that one of Wickham's motivations in his attempted elopement with Georgiana was revenge. What motivations might he have had for running off with Lydia? (Besides the obvious...)
9. Elizabeth Bennet says,".... people themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them for ever."
  • Do any of the characters in the book change substantially? Or do they, as Elizabeth says of Darcy, "in essentials" remain much as they ever were?
10. Elizabeth is furious with Darcy for breaking up the match between Jane and Mr. Bingley. Although he initially defends himself, she changes his mind. Later when Lady Catherine attempts to interfere in his own courtship, he describes this as unjustifiable.
  • Should you tell a friend if you think they're about to make a big mistake romantically?
  • Have you ever done so? How did that work out for you?
(Questions issued by Penguin Classics edition.)

Versions and renditions of Pride and Prejudice
  • Bride and Prejuidice (Movie)
  • Pride and Prejudice (BBC movie version)
  • ___Marry Mr Darcy
  • Pride and Prejuidice (Movie with Keira Knightly and Colin Firth)
  • Lost in Austn
  • Pride and Prejuidice (Provo Version)
  • Death Comes to Pemberley  - PD James

=================


1. “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good
fortune, must be in want of a wife.” This first line has become one of the most famous in English literature. In addition to setting the narrative in motion, how does this line alert us to the tone of the novel and our role, as readers, in appreciating it? What does the line imply about women? (From the Chicago Public Library’s One Book, One Chicago pamphlet on Pride and Prejudice, 2005)
2. Elizabeth is upset to learn that Charlotte has accepted Mr. Collins’s marriage proposal (Vol. 1, chapter XXIII, p. 95). Do you think Charlotte should have married Mr. Collins? Did she choose him or did he choose her? What do you think influenced her decision to accept him? Is Charlotte a romantic? Is Elizabeth?
3. How does Pemberley play a role in Elizabeth’s change of heart? Does she really fall in love with Darcy after seeing his estate? Trace the development of her feelings for him. Why is Darcy attracted to Elizabeth? Trace the development of his feelings for her.
4. What might have happened if Elizabeth had accepted Darcy’s first proposal? Do you think he really expected her to accept? How does the first proposal change their feelings for, and opinions of, each other?
5. Several letters are reproduced in full in the text. What is the effect on you as a reader when you read a letter instead of getting the information contained in it from the third person narrator? Why do you think Austen might have used letters so often in this novel?
(There are 59 references to letters in the book.) Madison Public Library
6. How does the title Pride and Prejudice relate to the original title Jane Austen used for the novel, First Impressions? Do you think Pride and Prejudice is a better title? Why? How does it relate to Elizabeth? Darcy? Does it relate to other characters in the novel?
7. Which of her four sisters—Jane, Kitty, Mary or Lydia—does Elizabeth most resemble? How do the sisters’ different perceptions of people affect the choices they make? How do you think others perceive them?
8. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet do not agree on very much, especially when it comes to their daughters’ futures. Who is the better parent…Mr. or Mrs. Bennet? What role does family play in this novel?
9. Darcy says that Wickham tried to elope with Georgiana for revenge. Why does he run away with Lydia (other than the obvious…)?
10. Lady Catherine’s visit to Elizabeth to persuade her not to marry her nephew Darcy actually has the exact opposite effect and propels them toward the final conclusion, their marriage. What is it about this use of dramatic irony that is so appealing to readers? What other examples of irony do you find in the novel?
11. The novel has many universal themes that make it relevant today and inspire
contemporary spin-offs and adaptations. Imagine the Facebook pages of each of the Bennet daughters. Who would be most active on Facebook? How would their entries differ from each other? Would any of them choose not to be on Facebook?
12. Why is this novel so popular? Why do readers keep coming back to it, even after the original suspense is gone and they know how it ends?


New Words:
  • superciliousness (6):haughtily disdainful or contemptuous, as a person or a facial expression.
  • complaisance (6): inclined or disposed to please; obliging; agreeable or gracious; compliant:
  • Loo-table (10):  a table model from the 18th and 19th centuries, originally designed for the card game loo, which was also known as lanterloo
  • Piquet (10):  a trick-taking card game for two players, using a 32-card deck consisting of cards from the seven to the ace.
  • Panegyric (10): a public speech or published text in praise of someone or something.
  • Approbation (10): approval or praise.
  • quadrille (14): a square dance performed typically by four couples and containing five figures, each of which is a complete dance in itself.
  • affability (14): the quality of being affable; geniality.
  • curricle (44): a light, open, two-wheeled carriage pulled by two horses side by side.
  • complaisance (44): inclined or disposed to please; obliging; agreeable or gracious; compliant:
  • simpered (55): smile or gesture in an affectedly coquettish, coy, or ingratiating manner.
  • missish (57):  affectedly demure, squeamish, or sentimental.
  • diffidence (58): modesty or shyness resulting from a lack of self-confidence.


Good Quotes:
  • First Line: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
  • Last Line: Darcy, as well as Elizabeth, really loved them; and they were both ever sensible of the warmest gratitude towards the persons who, by bringing her into Derbyshire, had been the means of uniting them.
  • I cannot comprehend the neglect of a family library (Chp 8)
  • But people themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them for ever (Chp 9)
  • I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love! (Chp 9)
  • Nothing is more deceitful than the appearance of humility. (Chp 10)
  • The power of doing anything with quickness is always prized much by the possessor, and often without any attention to the imperfection of the performance. (Chp 10)
  • This is too much, to remember at night all the foolish things that were said in the morning. (Chp 10)
  • The wisest and the best of men, … may be rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life is a joke. (Chp 11)
  • I hope I never ridicule what is wise and good (Chp 11)
  • It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first. (Chp 18)
  • The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it (Chp 24)
  • ...without scheming to do wrong, or to make others unhappy, there may be error, and there may be misery. (Chp 24)
  • every view was pointed out with a minuteness which left beauty entirely behind. (Chp 28)
  • Every park has its beauty (Chp 29)


References:

A Man Called Ove

Book: A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Bakman
Basic Information : Synopsis : Thoughts : Evaluation : Book Group : New Words : Book References : Good Quotes
: References

Basic Information:
 Author:  Fredrik Backman
Edition:   paperback copy, and  eBook on Overdrive from the Mountain View Public Library
Read:April 5, 2017
401 pages
Genre:  Fiction
Rated: 3.5  out of 5

Synopsis:
A Man Called Ove is really a series of short stories strung together with a coherent theme. Ove is a lonely old recent widower living in a development. The story shows a man who did not get along with his neighbors and how he started to bound with them through a series of times he helped them.

The stories talk about his youth, the gaining and the loss of his wife, his neighborhood feuds and the impositions his neighbors had on having him do favors for them. Overlaid in all of this is his loneliness leading to several thwarted suicide attempts. That would be thwarted through the needs of his neighbors.

Then in the background is the feud with Ove's friend Rune, even though the term friend may be a bit loose. Their is a sense of at least a renewal of relationship when Rune has dementia and the “white suits” want to take him away. Ove stages a guerrilla war to prevent that from happening with the help of neighbors and friends.

Through all of this, the end of his life is surrounded by friends and neighbors. He is still a gruff old man, but much loved.

Thoughts:
There are certain themes which run through this book:
  • Contrast between the closed mouth Ove and the joyful Sonja
  • Going after the inner good in all people
  • The effects of grudges
  • How bureaucracies tend to rule lives unless stood up too.
  • Love is a strange thing. It takes you by surprise.

As I look over my notes, I realize there is a whole cast of characters which can be analyzed, which I have not touched:

  • Patrick — Parvaneh — Ove's neighbor, a pregnant woman of Iranian descent, a mother of two
  • Parvaneh's husband
  • Rune — Ove's friend and neighbor
  • Anita — Rune's wife
  • Adrian — the neighborhood mailman
  • Jimmy — the overweight neighbor

A Man Called Ove Makes his Neighborhood Inspection
And where was the world going if people couldn't write or brew a pot of coffee. I confess: I cannot perk coffee, nor do I care.  My English teachers would also say that I could not write either.  But Ove's point is that our abilities are being taken away by our dependence on conveniences. In this case espresso machines.  I was thinking about that the other day-where would I be without flipping on a light or flushing a toilet.

A Man Called Ove Does Not Pay A Three-Kronor Surcharge
How can anyone spend their whole life long for the day when they become superfluous? That is a retirement question. In Ove's case, a forced retirement. So the object of retirement is not to be more valuable in your old position, but to explore and become proficient in other activities, more useful in other ways.

A Man Called Ove
Ove's generation did not talk much, but did. He observes that the current generation talks a lot of doing things, but never seems like it is worth doing.

Only a swine thinks size and strength are the same thing.

There was a day when Ove made a determination about to keep money he found at this job, or turn it in. Backman says that is the day Ove learned how to do right instead of wrong.

A Man Called Ove Drills A Hole for a Hook
You miss the strangest things when you lose someone. Little things. Smiles. The way she turned over in her sleep. True-I see this when my wife and I are apart-it takes me forever to go to sleep.

A Man Who Was Ove and A Pair of His Father's Old Footprints
Backman states that Ove differentiated between those who did and those who talked. Ove chose the route of talking less and doing more. This resonates with me. A good reminder to let actions do my talking.

A Man Who Was Ove and A House That Ove Built
if there was anything this middle class was not enamored of, it was whatever stood in the way of progress.  Is this really true? In this case Ove's father's house was to be destroyed to make way for a housing development.

A Man Who Was Ove and a Woman on a Train
Ove discovers that being on time may not be the most important attribute about a relationship. I have and am learning this. There is more to relationships than punctuality. As Ove discovers, that one person is unique to them and he needs to have that person in his life.

A Man Called Ove and A Cat Called Earnest
Sorrow does strange things to living creatures. Let your mind wander with this.


A Man Who Was Over and Countries Where They Play Foreign Music in Restaurants
When Ove and his wife Sonja is in Spain they see a street person asking for money.  He protests because you never know what they will do with the money. Her response? They can do what they like with the money.  She also says that when a person gives to another person it's not just the receiver who's blessed. It's the giver.  Words of wisdom.

A Man Who Was Ove and A Bus That Never Got There
Sonja would not have been Sonja if she had let the darkness win.  At the core, we are only what our values are. This has got to lead us to action to defend our values.
 
Then a few pages further Backman continues on  with that thought:  Every human been needs to know what she's fighting for.  The theme is that we

A Man Called Ove and a Piece of Corrugated Iron
Ove is trying to commit suicide. This time with pills. There is a comment that many normal folk strive for the feeling of losing control and go after it. But it is not within Ove to do that. Does not sound like it is a great temptation for Ove, just something within his internal makeup.

...[there is a] difference between being wicked because one has to be or because one can. Which begs the question, is it ok to be wicked ever? If so, under what circumstances?

A Man Who Was Ove and A Man Who Was Rune
sorrow...should have brought the two men closer. But sorrow is unreliable in that way. Talking about how one lost a child and the other had a son who he could not get along with.

I think one of the most pungent lines in the whole book is when Ove realized that a part of Rune had given up forever. And for that maybe neither Ove nor Rune forgave him. When dreams leave, we are left with decay.

There were certain people who thought that feelings could not be judged by looking at cars. But they were wrong. At least in Rune and Ove's case.

A Man Called Ove Backs Up a Trailer Again
One side story which continues throughout the book is Ove's battle with the state bureaucracy. It first tries to tell him how his wife Sonja should live. Then tries to take Rune away from Anita when Run has dementia. A bureaucracy which is set up to try to take care of people becomes a means to controlling them.  In this way. A Man Called Ove is a morality story to warn us to fight for our independence. Not to let some “white suit” dictate the terms of our lives.

A Man Called Ove Isn't Running A Dammed Hotel
Talks more about how bureaucracy not only stops us from what we want to do, but in many cases stops us from doing what is best for us.

A Man Caled Ove and An Inspection Tour That is Not the Usual
Backman notes that there are times when men will just go off an do something:
1) Because they will need to do it sometime and they might as well do it now
2) Because it should have been done a long time ago

A Man Called Ove and Social Incompetence
the first people to break the laws of bureaucracy are always the bureaucrats themselves. Not sure how accurate this is, but it seems like there are certainly a lot of them.

A Man Called Ove and a Whiskey
It is difficult to admit that one is wrong. Particularly when one has been wrong for a very long time. Sort of says it all. The immediate application is to a father of a homosexual-not Ove. But then while Ove is right about the particulars of his life, he has not been right about the outlook. He realizes that by creating a buffer to others, he and they have lost out. When we have nothing to look forward to and can only look back, as Backman says.

A Man Called Ove
For the greatest fear of death is always that it will pass us by. And leave us there alone. Is this true? Why do the rich believe in cryogenics? Do they not want to live forever? I think that is something innate in us and why heaven is persistent to us. We are still remnants from our past forefather in creation which is eternal. What we do not want is getting old and useless, forgetting who we are. This happens when we forsake our ancestry and despair of this world.

A Man Called Ove and the End of a Story
Love is a strange thing. It takes you by surprise. While not speaking of Ove, this may have been the theme of the book.  Ove finds that there is love of another kind besides is wife's love. While not a substitute, it is there for the taking. You just need to reach out to it.



Evaluation:

The first two-thirds of A Man Called Ove, I was wondering why am I reading this book? Why should I care about Ove? But as I plodded on, I started to root for Ove, wondering how Backman was going to get him involved in other people's lives rather than his reclusive ways. This is the magic of this book: the bringing out the inner Ove. The one who feels he is superior, but has a heart deep within him.

 
Notes from my book group:

From my book groups, meeting, these were the thoughts and questions:
  • I really dislike talking to owners of Swedish cars. Why? Because they all have Saab stories.
  • How do you pronounce O V E?
    • Goodreads says there are several waysYouTube 
    • video on how people are saying Ove.I suspect there is not one proper way to say OVE. Sounds like it depends what part of Sweden you are from.
  • What interested you in having the book group read this book?
    • Fun, loved the character development, Ove’s character did not change suddenly, but was developed.
  • Did this story “work” for you? Why?
    • To me, this book felt more like a series of short stories string together with a loose theme. If you were one of the people who felt this is more of a comprehensive themed book, what were those themes? (Love is a strange thing. It takes you by surprise. )
    • We all know an Ove. So we could see the book and relate.
    • There are reasons to live
  • What themes do you see in this story?
    • Contrast between the closed mouth Ove and the joyful Sonja
    • Going after the inner good in all people
    • The effects of grudges
    • How bureaucracies tend to rule lives unless stood up too. (Talks more about how bureaucracy not only stops us from what we want to do, but in many cases stops us from doing what is best for us. )
    • Love is a strange thing. It takes you by surprise.
  • As readers, we get to know Ove slowly, with his past only being revealed piece by piece. What surprised you about Ove’s past? Why do you think the author revealed Ove’s past the way that he did?
    • Even after getting an understanding of why Ove was like how he was, there was a general not wanting to be around him
  • What effect has making life easy had on our abilities? (And where was the world going if people couldn't write or brew a pot of coffee )
    • Some books which address how we lose our abilities as technology takes over:
  • Do you think Sonja was right in her approach to giving? (They can do what they like with the money.  She also says that when a person gives to another person it's not just the receiver who's blessed. It's the giver.  )
    • Too simple of an approach
    • How would Jesus approach these people?
  • Is it OK to be wicked in certain situations? (...[there is a] difference between being wicked because one has to be or because one can. )
  • What is the point of retirement? (How can anyone spend their whole life long for the day when they become superfluous? )
    • It was agreed that as you lived your life in work, so it shall be in retirement. Business is not the same as a full life.
  • What did the cat represent? Maybe Sonja?
    • I am not sure that the cat represents anything. But I think the cat is a vehicle for Ove to express his love for Sonja by trying to do what she would do.
  • Was Ove's death a suicide?
    • I do not think so. Backman notes that it was several years after the main part of the book takes place. Ove seems content to be with his neighbors and has found a means to be himself, but enjoy them still.
  • Ove did not have to stop being who he was before he died.
    • I think this is where Backman does well-describes how Ove does not get transformed into something else, but is more open to helping others who are in need
  • What was the parts of the book which were memorable to you?
  • Did the ending seem fitting? Satisfying?  Predictable?
  • Which character was the most convincing? Least?
    • Which character did you identify with?
    • Which one did you dislike?
  • Every story has a world view. Were you able to identify this story’s world view? What was it? How did it affect the story?
  • Ove loves things that have a purpose, that are useful. How does this worldview fail him when he believes himself to be useless? How is he convinced that he can still be useful?
  • Why do you think the author wrote this book? What would you ask the author  if you had a chance?
  • Did Ove friends change him or he changed his neighbors?
    • It probably is both. Any interaction changes the things being acted upon. But in a lot of ways, I think this is a story about others being changed. Not because Ove is a change agent. But because Ove being Ove gives people pause to evaluate themselves.
  • Return to a life, not necessarily a place 
    • This phrase was mentioned, not because it was instrumental about the book, but as an aside. I felt this was somewhat appropriate for my situation.
  • What “take aways” did you have from this book?
  • Ove is a believer in the value of routine—how can following a routine be both comforting and stultifying? How can we balance routine and spontaneity? Should we? Or is there sense in eating sausage and potatoes your whole life?
  • Talk about specific passages that struck you as significant—or interesting, profound, amusing, illuminating, disturbing, sad...?
    • What was memorable?



At the OSHER book group there were several comments which instigated some thoughts from me:
  • Was Ove's death a suicide?
    • I do not think so. Backman notes that it was several years after the main part of the book takes place. Ove seems content to be with his neighbors and has found a means to be himself, but enjoy them still.
  • Conversations at home is with neighbors
  • The characters are pretty well developed
  • Parallel situation between Ove/Sonja and Anita/Rune
    • You have two men who are stubborn and very inward.
    • Two women who love their men and who are best friends
    • Each husband very much think they are right.
    • Each couple has a crisis where there is loss of one of them. But  it takes Anita to reach out to Ove to start a somewhat reconcilation.
  • Ove did not have to stop being who he was before he died.
    • I think this is where Backman does well-describes how Ove does not get transformed into something else, but is more open to helping others who are in need.
  • What did the cat represent? Maybe Sonja?
    • I am not sure that the cat represents anything. But I think the cat is a vehicle for Ove to express his love for Sonja by trying to do what she would do.
  • Did Ove friends change him or he changed his neighbors?
    • It probably is both. Any interaction changes the things being acted upon. But in a lot of ways, I think this is a story about others being changed. Not because Ove is a change agent. But because Ove being Ove gives people pause to evaluate themselves.
  • Return to a life, not necessarily a place
    • This phrase was mentioned, not because it was instrumental about the book, but as an aside. I felt this was somewhat appropriate for my sitation.


Questions from Lit Lovers:
  1. How does the opening scene, in which Ove attempts to purchase a computer, succinctly express the main points of Ove’s ongoing battle with the stupidities of the modern world?
  2. Ove loves things that have a purpose, that are useful. How does this worldview fail him when he believes himself to be useless? How is he convinced that he can still be useful?
  3. As readers, we get to know Ove slowly, with his past only being revealed piece by piece. What surprised you about Ove’s past? Why do you think the author revealed Ove’s past the way that he did?
  4. We all know our own grumpy old men. How do Ove’s core values lead him to appear as such a cranky old coot, when he is in fact nothing of the sort? Which of these values do you agree or disagree with?
  5. Although Ove has some major "disagreements" with the way the world turned out, there are some undeniable advantages to the modernization he finds so hollow. How do these advantages improve Ove’s life, even if he can’t admit it?
  6. Parveneh’s perspective on life, as radically different from Ove’s as it is, eventually succeeds in breaking Ove out of his shell, even if she can’t change his feelings about Saabs. How does her brash, extroverted attitude manage to somehow be both rude and helpful?
  7. Ove strives to be “as little unlike his father as possible.” Although this emulation provides much of the strength that helps Ove persevere through a difficult life, it also has some disadvantages. What are some of the ways that Ove grows into a new way of thinking over the course of the book?
  8. Ove is a believer in the value of routine—how can following a routine be both comforting and stultifying? How can we balance routine and spontaneity? Should we? Or is there sense in eating sausage and potatoes your whole life?
  9. The truism “it takes a village to raise a child” has some resonance with A Man Called Ove. How does the eclectic cast of posers, suits, deadbeats, and teens each help Ove in their own way?
  10. Although we all identify with Ove to some extent, especially by the end of the story, we certainly also have our differences with him. Which of the supporting cast (Parveneh, Jimmy, the Lanky One, Anita) did you find yourself identifying with most?
  11. What did you make of Ove’s ongoing battle with the bureaucracies that persist in getting in his way? Is Ove’s true fight with the various ruling bodies, or are they stand-ins, scapegoats, for something else?
  12. On page 113, after a younger Ove punches Tom, the author reflects: "A time like that comes for all men, when they choose what sort of men they want to be." Do you agree with this sentiment, especially in this context? How does the book deal with varying ideas of masculinity?
  13. On page 246, the author muses that when people don’t share sorrow, it can drive them apart. Do you agree with this? Why or why not?
  14. What do you think of Ove’s relationship with the mangy cat he adopts? What does the cat allow him to express that he couldn’t otherwise say?
  15. On Ove and Sonja’s trip to Spain, Ove spends his time helping the locals and fixing things. How does Ove the “hero” compare and contrast to his behavior in the rest of the book? Is that Ove’s true personality?
  16. Ove and Sonja’s love story is one of the most affecting, tender parts of the book. What is the key to their romance? Why do they fit so well together?
  17.  Saab? Volvo? BMW? Scania?
(Questions issued by the publisher.)



New Words:
  • palaver: prolonged and idle discussion.
Book References:
  • Shakespeare
  • CS Lewis and Narnia

Good Quotes:
  • First Line: Ove is fifty nine.
  • Last Line: Saab
  •  How can anyone spend their whole life long for the day when they become superfluous? (A Man Called Ove Does Not Pay A Three-Kronor Surcharge)
  • Only a swine thinks size and strength are the same thing. (A Man Called Ove)
  • Sorrow does strange things to living creatures. (A Man Called Ove and A Cat Called Earnest)
  • when a person gives to another person it's not just the receiver who's blessed. It's the giver.  (A Man Who Was Over and Countries Where They Play Foreign Music in Restaurants)  
  • Every human been needs to know what she's fighting for. (A Man Who Was Ove and A Bus That Never Got There)
  • [there is a] difference between being wicked because one has to be or because one can. (A Man Called Ove and a Piece of Corrugated Iron)
  • the first people to break the laws of bureaucracy are always the bureaucrats themselves. (A Man Called Ove and Social Incompetence) 
  • It is difficult to admit that one is wrong. Particularly when one has been wrong for a very long time.  (A Man Called Ove and a Whiskey) 
  • For the greatest fear of death is always that it will pass us by. And leave us there alone. I(A Man Called Ove)
  • Love is a strange thing. It takes you by surprise.  (A Man Called Ove and the End of a Story)


References: