Basic Information : Synopsis : Characters : Expectations : Thoughts : Evaluation : Book Group : New Words : Book References : Good Quotes : Table of Contents : References
Basic Information:
Edition: Hardcopy
Publisher: WiDo Publishing
ISBN: _9781947966437
Start Date: October 15, 2022
Read Date: December 5, 2022
286 pages
Genre: Biography, Book Group
Language Warning: Low to Medium
Rated Overall: 3½ out of 5
Synopsis:
This is an autobiographical work of Charles Radke, concentrating on his relationship with his mother. His mother had been diagnosed with lupus in high school, but his father still married her. When Radke was eight years old, his father left them for a younger, skinner and more beautiful woman.
From there, Radke traces his life, and his mother’s, as he grows up. He gets into adolescent troubles, but nothing too serious-just the potential. For some reason, he goes on a way which would allow him a pleasant life, but not until he drifted for awhile. It talks about him attending UCLA, getting into a life-threatening motorcycle accident, going on and getting his masters at Fresno State and his doctorate at Florida State.
But in each case, he always returns back to care for his mother. The last part of the book talks about his mother as her body goes into decline and then her death. But he does not leave it like that. He gives hints about who he is in his final chapter and how he sees himself in his son.
Cast of Characters:
- Charles Radke-author (Chuck)
- Barbara Lewis Radke-Chuck’s mother, has lupus
- Ken-his father who left his wife and son. Married Lucille. In advertising
- Karen-author’s wife.
- Leo Radke-Grandfather, father’s side
- Margaret Radke-Grandmothr,father’s side
- Marzelle-Grandmother, mother’s side
- Jack-Uncle. Drive school instructor. Complainer.
- Frank-Neighbor on Malsbury
- Kathy-Radke’s first love.
- Jim-manager of Der Wenierzentizel. Cyclist. Died in a car crash
- Mr Donahue-English teacher who taught him to love language.
- Lucille-His father’s second wife, Filipina. Chuck Radke nick-named her “Loose-Wheel”.
- Wendy-a publisher of a start-up family magazine
- Pam-rental agent, became Radke’s mother caretaker.
- Ruth-sponsored him to go to a national conference of the National Society of Arts and Letters
- Carolina-manager of a Florida Tony Roma. From Argentina. Radke started dating her.
- Ginny-Radke’s Aunt
- Recommendation: Book Group
- When: August, 2022
- Date Became Aware of Book: August 2022
- How come do I want to read this book: Book Group pick.
- What do I think I will get out of it? Unknown
Thoughts:
If you think about this book as a series of short stories, tied together as a narrative on Radke’s life, then the book reads better. You can find bits and pieces of this book, not as written, but as thoughts on the web.
Chapter five, the story of a trapeze artist’s death, is a metaphor for this story. Radke does not feel like there is too much of a safety net in his life. There is only his frail mother whom he takes care of, even at the age of eight.
Stuccoville started out pretty slow for me. Radke talks about his childhood. While there is the point that he was taking care of his mother in many ways, most of what Radke was showing is how he grew up with little or no parental supervision. It was as he became an adult, does the author show us reasons to start being empathetic, and the emotional toll it takes on him
I was particularly moved by the struggles which Radke had as a person taking care of his mother while also wanting a sense of life. To his mother’s credit, she understood a couple of things. Radke needed a chance to be himself without being tied to her. She also understood that as she aged, lupus was not going to be kind to her-she would be more dependent on him. Maybe it is that I took care of my mother for the last three years of her life which I could relate to and be moved by the turmoil, the stretching which Radke had trying to be there for his wife and children while honoring his mother and her wishes.
I wonder how Radke kept such detailed accounts, even of the counter tops of an apartment he lived in when he was eight. But I guess that is being a writer-observing everything around you.
Each chapter has notes as an starting point to the chapter, I think almost all of them are medical on his mother. Just from following the notes, you can see the decline in her abilities.
Prologue: The Wolf, I’m Afraid
Radke is trying to get across the point feels most comfortable not having to rely on anybody. His wife suggests that he join a Bible study or a book club. Radke only wants to join a book club if they sit there and read! I smiled-particularly since he will be at our book group. Karen said those are called libraries. I snorted.
When Radke’s mother read to Chuck, she became alive.
There are places in this book where he mentions Flannery O’Connor, one of our authors.
He gets to the point: there would be mutual aid between mother and son,with as time going on, the aid would grow more lopsided. Radke’s father was out of the picture, leaving Radke’s infirmed mother for one which was not so much trouble, he thought.
Radke’s goal: to be the best husband and father. How? Be the opposite of his father. Radke realized that first, I had to learn to be a son.
1 There’s Money in Paper Bags!
Sept 1973. Fifth birthday-making him born in 1968. Talks about spending time with his grandfather in Oregon. Grandfather sold paper bags to grocery stores. He wanted this to be the family business. Radke’s father grew uncomfortable around his father, so they left for Fresno.
References a 1966 CoffeeMate commercial his father is said to have written.
2 This is How I Came To Be Charles
Description of their first apartment in Fresno, right across from St Anthony of Padua Catholic church.
Charles was Radke’s great-grandpa’s name. As a note: one of his children is called Caroline. I suspect she is named after his great-great grandmother, rather than his Argentine girl-friend in Florida.
He went to Baird with Mr Loren Ebersole as principal. School year of 1974-75. He would have been 6 or 7.
He goes over what Don McLean’s song of American Pie meant to his father. Sounds like it reminds him of lost dreams. His father was a joker, such as making Radke think he was going to get punished for something at school rather than a festival the school was putting on for the entire student body and parents. This is a puzzling component to Radke about his Dad.
3 Everything Wrong in His World Somehow Started With Me
He got into a fight with a bully. He stabbed the bully with a pencil, into his ear. He got spanked by the principal with a paddle.Turns out that Ebersole went to prison for child pornography and molestation.
4 Jackrabbits, Ground Squirrels, Field Mice and the Hawks That Ate Them
They moved into a house. By the Santa Fe tracks, next to a ponding basin. Made of stucco, which is where Radke’s Dad called the area Stuccoville. Way out towards the end of Bullard Ave. I wonder if this is where Shelbyville was.
Found out that his father did not pay any child support after he left his wife/Radke’s mother. This was 14 months after moving into the house and a month before Radke’s 8th birthday. This left them to make due with what they got, not much food.
His father left for a person named Patty who craved adventure and wide-open spades and didn’t want anything to do with me. She was also thinner and prettier than his mother.
Robert Service: The Spell of the Yukon
5 The Beautiful Brenda Cuttin
For me, this was the most memorable chapter of the book, particularly the first part of the book.
Radkee’s father had left him and his mother. Radke, in his terms, loathed his father for deserting them, particularly now that his mother was vulnerable because of her disease. His mother now felt the need to fill in for both the mother and father roles. So on his birthday, his mother took him to the circus.
Brenda Cuttin was the top entertainer that night. During her highwire/trapeze act, Cuttin had a heart attack and died, crashing 60’ into the sawdust covered cement floor, dead.
There are times when we just want to have fun with our children. But then there are times when reality crashes the party.
A couple items on this:
Radke has a Fresno Bee article, The night a beautiful lady soared on the trapeze in Fresno — and came crashing down. While this describes the same incident in chapter 6, it is a different take.
There is a song-not very good-on YouTube from a group called Jesus and the Robot
Also, there is a Facebook page.
6 People With Perfect Smiles and Impeccable Hair
His mother worked as a typist-clerk for Fresno Unified, starting about two years before I started working for FUSD. He went to Figarden Elementary School.
While she was at work, Radke went through her hope chest, and found autographed pictures from movie stars. This led to a talk about life before Fresno, when she worked for Paramount Studios. It is always interesting finding out that your parents had an interesting life before you were born. I almost think at times, that my birth day is the beginning of time-it is not.
To his mother, that life was a lifetime ago and neither here nor there. She meant that compared to that life, Chuck Radke was held in higher esteem than all of that fake life. This is a great deal of maturity by his mother.
7 I Want to Be a Child Star
Radke and his mother visited his grandmother and uncle in Los Angeles' Koreatown. Interesting-my daughter was a nanny for a Korean-Chinese couple's kids. They owned an upscale Korean BBQ in Koreatown. He finds out his uncle is not very glamorous. He was a drunk. Describes his grandmother and uncle. His mom wanted to visit Paramount Studios and see if there was still anybody there who she might know.
Radke said that he wanted to be a star. The adults thought it was a funny thing he said. That has got to be the way to deflate a child. He ran away. He had a resemblance to Ricky Schroder and this gave him a bit of local stardom.
He also describes the school bully at Figarden.
8 Here I was, With All Kinds of Badness in My Heart
Talked about when he was eleven, during the summer. Their car was stolen. The house was sold and they lived at a house on Malsbary St. One of his friend’s mother had a live-in boyfriend named Ed. He had money. Radke felt his friend was the luckiest guy because Ed was free with the money. Radke describes his friends.
Radke describes trying to hit boxcars with stones. Then breaking into a warehouse. Later they found out it was a Sears warehouse. Then they came across an old restaurant, not open, but someone was living there. Radke imagined there was money there to be stolen. But he was caught by an old lady. He escapes, right into the hands of the Sears warehouse security and the police.
Radke had noted that one of his friends knew kung fu. This friend became very stoic. Radke knew he wanted to be like that as well. The sheriff knew the kids had been frightened enough. Ed paid off the debt to Sears and Radke and friends worked off their debt by washing and waxing his car. Radke’s mom did not scold him, but he felt deep down the guilt of the let down in esteem in her eyes.
9 Lust, Maybe, but Not Violence
In a conversation with a friend, it came out that not only the Sears warehouse was an issue, but that Radke had tried to break into a cafe. His mom’s remedy was to go to church. First thing which happened, Radke tried to steal from the offering basket. His mom was both embarrassed and upset. They get a visit from the church, not about the attempted thievery, but as we want to welcome you. Scott invited him to a youth group. They were invited back again.
Movie night at the church. This did not turn out so well. A junior high school boy and girl were making out in the dark and it seemed acceptable to the other kids. Radke broke this up which did not make friends. He also lost his wallet, with money in it. He goes home early.
10 In My Trash Bag, I Met Kathy
He started 8th grade at a new school. His mother was put at an inner-city middle school’s front desk. As a note: over the 32 years I worked at FUSD, I had plenty of opportunity to observe the front desk operations at all levels of schools. Being at the front desk is not for the faint of heart. It is a fairly demanding, constant interaction position. Barbara Radke with her lupus and disabilities could not keep up, earning her the ire of co-workers. 10 years later, the Americans with Disabilities Act would have had the school district make accommodations for her. She got moved to the back office. More typing, less interaction.
They had a neighbor named Frank who Radke tried to emulate. Radke joined the wrestling team. But he was very light and did not have the experience the other boys did. So he was constantly losing his matches with the other boys at his school. He was consigned to run laps to keep his weight down. Other schools did not have people in that weight class. So he would win by default.
While running laps, he met his first love, Kathy, a seventh grader. She was also on the cheerleading team. Radke dropped out of wrestling and joined the cheerleaders to be with her. They became a steady pair. But Kathy also started having eyes for a more well-to-do boy. Kathy then dropped Radke and went with the new boy.
Interesting reaction by Radke. It goes to the insecurities we have while we are growing up, and even beyond. I knew Keith had drawn her away from me. For that I hated him. But really, how much could I hate a guy who knew who he was and wanted to be. Radke goes on and talks about envy. But in my view, if you envy, you recognize you do not have something-either materially or mentally which someone else has. There are three ways to overcome envy: bringing the other person down, lifting yourself up, or understanding yourself and recognizing that you are special in your own way which God has made you. The first is easy, the last can only be down through grace.
11 We Kick over a few Tricylces Along the Way
It is New Year’s Eve and Radke is 13. He will be spending time with his friend Steve and another friend. Steve’s parents left for a party leaving the three to get into trouble. During the day, they just made a nuisance of themselves. When they got home, it was rum and other drinks. He vomited it up, hitting Steve’s sister's stuff.
Radke and a friend went store to store stealing during the spring. They get caught and their mothers need to come and have things explained to them. While he did not want to talk about it, his mother threatened to send him to his father.
The thing which Radke now realizes is that he was not content. The drinking allowed him to be something else than himself.
12 Our Cupboards Were Full of Her Profits
He gives an idea of the location of Stuccoville, with reference to items of interest in his previous chapters. He also gives you the idea of the patchwork of opulence and poverty which is Fresno-one living right next to the other without really knowing each other.
His mother becomes a Tupperware lady, after selling Mary Kay and Avon. Each time she was looking for her big break. Radke was her assistant and was a big hit. His mom was proud of him. She was still working for FUSD and was fighting her disease.
But this started his lust for money. Radke became a paperboy. One of the houses on his route was the house they owned before his father took off. It brought back semi-disturbing memories. He also learned that a paperboy route had costs, such as rubber bands, canvas bags and plastic bags. But the money he made, made him think he was worth something.
Interesting that without money, there is a sense of being worthless as a human. He was praised and became addicted to it. It became vital. Self-loathing is the accompanying feeling on the other shoulder. When you do not get this praise, you think you are worthless. There is always you can do better than that-not that people would say that, but that would be his self-talk.
Radke goes to high school at Edison-the same school two of my children went to, about ten years later. Edison is in southwest Fresno and the neighborhood has a lot of poverty. He points out the big problem with Edison. Computeach is a feeder school into Edison. It is a magnet school to attract top-notch students with the idea the majority of them would go on to Edison. That part worked. So students from all over the District went to Edison. But the idea was to desegregate the District, not just Edison. There was no plan to bus students from that neighborhood to other schools. Seems ironic that the kids from Stuccoville were the ones shipped to Edison: the poor shipped to the poor.
Then his mother could no longer work for this District. She went on disability. His worry was that she was close to death, which turned out to be one worry he did not need to have. Still we all worry about things which we do not have control over.
13 There Hung in the Air a Sense of Unease
Process of going on welfare. Radke notes that you had to have a combination of being completely wiped out-picked clean was his words. But you could not look worthless, that there had to be something which you could be if you had the chance. Wonder what Sherri would say about this.
Radke talks about the interview with the welfare person. She recommended them to receive welfare. Barbara Radke’s brother and mother were coming to live in Fresno. This would help.
He talks about how his Uncle Jack was taken to the hospital. He met a nurse and they got married.
14 If I were, If I were, If I were
But now he is going to Bullard High, the more well to do school of FUSD, even though he is on welfare.He was able to fake being somewhat well to do. His father gave him an El Camino, but without the embellishments his father envisioned.
He got a job at Der Wienerschnitzel through his friend. He had an instant rapport with the manager, who felt he would rather have as his Dad than the one he had. Interesting contrast between his father promising large and being small, while this guy seemed to reach Radke on a personal level. The manager, Jim, seemed to be a conglomerate of all of the positive attributes of all of the failed men in his life.
Radke never got the knack of being fast while his friend advanced. Interesting statement about his friend. He said staying was all he ever knew. I wonder about myself in this. Statement. We came to Fresno for two years and have stayed 43 so far. Wonder what that says about me.
And then from his English teacher he got a love of language.
His restaurant manager was killed in a crash in the foothills. I suspect he was driving what the local cyclists called the Loop. To go up past Friant to Audberry and come back down Watts Valley Road.
He talks about how the manager’s son had become a friend of his. How he felt his friends losing his father was a much greater loss than his own, because the father was a father in the present tense. Radke’s father was past tense. From this experience, Radke wrote his first poem that Death had hastened away a great man and that there was now a hole.
Radke had been accepted to UCLA with financing.
15 You Will Be With Me in Paradise
His father married a woman named Lucille. They lived in Los Angeles. Radke did not appreciate her and thought this is the woman his father deserved.
He was at UCLA as an English major. To Radke, the flawed characters in books, helped him to understand himself.
Joins a fraternity. Started a job waiting on tables at a restaurant called Islands. This might be in Westchester. My youngest might have taken me here once when she was at UCLA. Here he met famous Los Angelians who tipped very well. He passed it on by sending his mother money. He felt this was the most virtuous thing he did. He called it his time in moral limbo. Interesting phrase.
He was having the best time of his life. But still he felt this inner inferiority knowing where he came from and who he was. His mother had moved into a mobile home. Radke was always afraid he would get a phone call saying she was dead.
On a rainy day, a fraternity brother insisted he wear his helmet to work. He got into a bad accident. Other person’s fault. Ended up in the hospital. The helmet saved him.
If you could have one thing in your life, before you die, what would it be? Radke wonders if his soul left his body.
He had a long recovery time after they put him back together again.
A Christian named Derek came and visited him. Helped him. Got his assignments. He left him CS Lewis’ book Mere Christianity It does not sound like he had a conversion at this point. But this was a positive exposure.
He still worked at the Islands. But also worked in security for events. Rest of the chapter talks about his senior year. Upon graduation, he worked at a summer camp. I think this was at Huntington Lake called Gold Arrow Camp. As an unrelated note, I went to summer camp at a close by Boy Scout camp called Camp Ojato.
16 As Popular as Anyone
Radke’s grandmother Marzelle died while back in Indiana. A brief run down of her life. A memorial service was held in Fresno.
Radke now lived in an apartment in Fresno, apart from his mom. He was going to graduate school at Fresno State, He turned in his first short story and it was critiqued in a workshop type class. The professor talked about pathetic fallacy-the attribution of human feelings and responses to inanimate things or animals, especially in art and literature. And then there were the cliches which were hammered on. The sage advice which the professor said was do not tell the reader what to feel, show them. Going from what Radke thought was a perfect story to this will not cut it. Radke’s take was at least a bit of appreciation that it was not a soft touch critique.
Jack separated from his new wife. He was also a pack rat. He borrowed money and did not pay back. Spent time fishing in the mountains. When Radke came to see Jack, he found him almost dead. He called the paramedics. He died a few days later. Radke has a description of his last few day. A plane was hired to fly his ashes out and dropped into the ocean. The contractor's name was Allan Vieira. He did not do what he was contracted to do.
Radke during this time worked as a substitute teacher. Also at Tony Rama’s. I wonder if he worked there at the same time as Mark L.
17 Not Too Late to Change Your Mind
Radke moves his Mom out to a place close to his own apartment. She goes overboard to furnish.
Radke continued on in grad school while his friends were progressing on with their lives, such as getting married, getting semi-permanent jobs, having kids, and buying houses. Radke’s retrospection on himself is that he did not hurry this along because he did not want to be pushing forward yet.
In addition to grad school, he continued to work as a sub, was a waiter and in addition helped to take care of his mother. Also he was spending his afternoons writing. He started to resent his mother because of the time imposition. He started working for a start-up family magazine selling ads.He was looking to be a writer. Instead he was doing what his father did. In his words, whenever you can get paid to write, you should.
He quit after several months. There is value in everything, even the stuff that seems worthless and painful when you’re in the middle of it. In Radke’s case, it was not the revelation that he wanted this job, rather it allowed him to be in his Mom’s neighborhood at an opportune time.
His Mom had a seizure while he was there. She ended up in CCU. He stayed with her while he could. He even read Flannery O’Conor to her-one of our book group authors. St Agnes was preparing him for his mother’s death. He signed a form which indicated that he was OK with them removing the breathing tube. As he was grieving his decision, a nurse told him it was not too late to change his mind. He did and the nurse started the process of keeping his mom alive.
Radke prayed both for God to decide what to do with her. The next morning, a nurse awakened him and said his mother would like to see him.
18 What Does Poor Look Like To You?
The issue was that a piece of food lodged in her esophagus. Describes her in the hospital. The doctor asked Radke to look for a nursing home. His mother had a steadfast refusal.
She thinks this is a betrayal by Radke-in her mind she sees it as a place for poor people, people whose family does not love them. I can really understand this. My parents were the same way. Fortunately, the only time it got this way was at the end of my mother’s life. She stayed a month and a half in a facility before passing. But it would have been extremely difficult for her to be cared for at home.
In the meantime, Radke had taken a job operating a well camera to find cracks in the casings. Then he worked in a bar, also was a TA at Fresno State. He had them visualize, not tell what it meant to be poor. He notes only those students who had been poor understood the assignment. To Radke it is the poor who can visualize the most, not just about what it means to be poor, but about beauty, loneliness and just about anything else.
For his mother’s 40th class reunion, he sent her to be with her best high school friend, near Chicago. This was a blessing to her.
19 The Potatoe Quarterly Is Where You’ll Stay
Radke talks about a boyfriend which his mother had back when she was 19. Turns out that he has his name on various papers about different drugs and their structures. I wonder what kind of person Radke would have been if his mother had married him instead of his father. But then again Radke would not have been himself then, but someone else.
Talks about a trip he made to Chicago.
He spent Sunday afternoons reading, particularly short stories. He notes that I could flirt with the short story, whereas novels required commitment. I have never found short stories to be very satisfying. Either they have a tendency to have little depth or I am always wondering what else the author intended-like they were trying out something to see if it would work. Then again, the commitment part is true. I am currently reading Crime and Punishment. It is taking a major commitment on my part. Not just the time, but to continue on through parts which are slow. Still I have just gotten to the meat and it is pure steak.
Radke talks about something called the Potato Quarterly Review. Suspect this is just a placeholder, a clever one, for journals which are so starved for content that they will take anything.
After rejections, he got an article in the Hayden’s Ferry Review for unpublished authors. He got turned down for the Iowa Writers Workshop.
His mother came back to an apartment, better than ever. A person in the complex became friends with her and became her caretaker.
He writes a story called Fish Talk which catches the eye of people at the Florida International University. He gets admitted as a TA for two years.
20 My Life Felt Too Small to Give a Name
Moving to Florida. Radke’s mom said she would be OK. It was a long drive. One he describes as I might appreciate the beautiful view as one of life’s simple pleasures, today, but back then it struck me as a barely tolerable disappointment. Apparently Radke did not appreciate the 60 mph governor on his rented vehicle. He rambled on to a recorder-when he came across it much later, he decided it was drivel-my words. I suspect this is true of all of us. What was once important no longer is. And if we knew what was important then, well only maybe we would have wisdom to do something about it.
Hot and unbearable. He notes that In Texas, in August, one should not waste ice cubes. Profound. He felt disconnected from the rest of his life on the trip out. Maybe because he had not been on a long car trip before. Along the way, he felt enough confidence to note: I am going to be a writer.
His mom’s hands were progressing towards uselessness. Also she was getting paranoid. Radke would look at her young picture which exuded confidence and wondered what the line was from confidence to her current state.
21 I Brought My Own Pen
Describes his writing at FIU. Likes a short-story called Well-Watching. Won a local chapter of the National Society of Arts and Letter award. Sent to nationals. At the nationals, he got buzzed enough that he was barely able to be seen. He won second place in the nationals.
He got a job at Tony Roma’s to combat his home sickness. He met the manager, who he would start dating later. Her name was Carolina. He got the job.
22 I Dance Like an American
He started to hang around Carolina. Took up tango dancing. Tony Roma made fodder for his writing class. The four to six hour time period is not very lucrative, but as a newbie, that is what he is assigned.
His Mom said he needed to keep having fun in Miami because it would end one day. But she was doing OK. She felt that after this, he would need to figure out what to do with himself. His answer must have been similar to his fathers.
I had come to believe that the success of great writers was irrevocably tied to consumption and that many did their best work when drunk. Or you wonder what their writing would have been like if they were not drunk? If that statement was true, one has to question, what about the state of drunkenness makes them write better?
Radke started drinking more. He found out that this did not make him a better writer. This may have been the best paragraph in the whole book. That drinking like Hemingway did not make him a writer like Hemingway anymore than if he used Hemingway’s typewriter. And this made him realize he was not any place close to being the writer he wanted to be. When he visited Key West, the southernmost place in the United States, he wrote on the back of a picture have gone as fas as I can go. I think Radke meant both physically and maybe as a writer.
Would he go back to California alone? Or would Carolina go with him? But her family did not seem too infatuated with the Yanqui. There are signals, or maybe not, which says that Radke should not pursue Carolina. So he does not.
23 I Sighed My Way Through All of It
Radke moved back to Fresno, to the same apartment complex as his mother-different apartment. Her place looked right at his. The advantage-it was close and he could help her. Disadvantage-it was close and she was dependent on him and knew every bit of his coming and going.
He now needed to get serious about his profession. He set up a workspace, complete with an assortment of books. Also phone books-good for naming subjects.
He worked at a summer camp-Gold Arrow Camp at Huntington Lake. At the end of the summer, he would be responsible for taking care of his mother. You would think this would be a perfect spot to write? Nope. I can vouch for this. I volunteer at a fire lookout. The best I can do on my blog is just keep enough notes to put together something when I get back. So I sympathize with him.
His doubt about writing as a viable vocation remained.
24 There Are Low Points and There Are Nadirs
He gets a couple part-time jobs at Fresno State. There was time to write, but writing did not come. It seemed like he had lost his ability to write. He found he did not have a voice. I hear this, but I have not really seen this strongly in many writers. There are writers like Ann Lamot or Annie Dillard which you can identify this with. But it seems like many writers tend to blend in with each other. Is that just today’s writers seem to read the same?
To gain a voice, he tried to imitate-not plagiarize. He would take a story and reword it. This did not work out for him as it was labor intensive and the results were not very stimulating. In the meantime he would become drunk, even taking care of his mother in that condition. Drinking did not help make the words flow. I wonder why he had The Westminster Dictionary of the Bible on his desk?
A low point/nadir was when his mother missed the bed and needed help in getting up. He was drunk and not very agreeable. He yelled at the dog and the dog nipped at him. He ended up apologizing to the dog based upon his mother’s instructions. She told him to go home and come back when his head was right.
His next door neighbor had her act together. She worked as a designer. She made an inquiry about a writing job for him. There was an immediate opening and the editor had been one of his teachers.
Radke notes that when you are low, there is no place to go but up.
25 See What the Page Gives You in Return
He speculates, what would life had been like if he had not turned back and talked with his neighbor? But isn’t this the life in a thousand universes which some science-fiction writers talk about? The universes of other possibilities? But in our reality, we can only live in this one. Knowing the outcomes of other trajectories changes my current one. We do not have the benefit, or the pessimism of knowing the Back to the Future possibilities. So the thing is to live in the current world and make the best choices, and for the Christian, to follow what we think is God’s leading.
He jumps ahead at least 15 if not 20 years to when he is 50. His father now lives in Palm Springs. Radke has been married for 11 years with three children. His father was dying. He and his aunt Ginny went to see him one last time. Lucille had not been good for his Dad, but they were still together.
Radke had come to see his father for two things: forgiveness for his attitude towards him and to see if his father would get right with God.
His father had asked him to edit his work of fiction. Radke gave him this advice, which I think is good for most things in life: Enjoy the process. Go to the page each day expecting nothing and see what the page gives you in return.
His Dad passed on while Radke was remembering him during the 2012 San Francisco marathon.
26 Elvis, by This Time, Was Living With Me
His mother is now 67. For her birthday, they were going to go out. She fell hard and ended up in the hospital. This was Radke’s daughter's first memory. I wonder if trauma is a more powerful memory than happiness. I suspect that is almost always a point in time while happiness is general.
The doctor would only release her to a nursing facility.She was able to come back to her apartment. But Radke became the repository of her treasures.
She fell again and was taken to ER.
27 I Release You to This Next Great Adventure
His mother was released to a nursing facility and she was made at Radke. He had his own guilt about the situation. He experienced his own set of frustrations with the situation of trying to make a life for her and the things which goes with that. Also his mom had a bit of paranoia.
She had a roommate who was taking over the room. Radke complained. His mother got moved into the dementia ward.
This continued on for a decade. And then her circulation to her feet stopped. Surgery was not an option. She went into hospice for maxim comfort. Radke was told she had six weeks to live. This is never a good news. One has to deal with separation of someone whom you love, someone who has been a major part of your life, never to be there again. Radke is introduced to the term active dying. This is where a person is releasing their body to death. There would need to be acceptance of the situation, acceptance of her leaving. She was given morphine to help with the pain.
Epilogue Ich Liebre Dich
Ich Liebre Dich-I am in love.
Radke scatters his mother’s ashes into Huntington Lake., where he was camp counselor.It was not as mystical as he thought it would be. In some ways, this was his mother’s final lesson for him: The body promises nothing.
He has three people close to him who have parents still alive. They are going through the same things he went through with his mother. He can empathize, but he does not have to experience. And this is a relief for him. I can also empathize with this. After my mother died, there was both the grief, but also the relief of no longer having to be in charge of her care. But this is where I differ from Radke. His thought is that I am no longer a son. You see, I feel I will always be my parents' son. But I will not have that part in my life.
And then there is how he starts the book, saying that his goal was to be the best husband and father. His first step is: I had to learn to be a son. I am pondering what Radke means by this.
The book ends with a snowshoe trip for his father-in-law in a spot at Huntington Lake.I think they went to Rancheria Falls. His son loses them by rushing ahead. After worrying, he poked his head out from behind a tree. He gets chewed on, but there is love even if the son is reluctant to say so.
Radke’s final words in the book have him comparing himself to his 12 year old son. And with this vision, he sees his son as having all the possibilities he had. This is a good vision for any father.
Evaluation:
If you think about this book as a series of short stories, tied together as a narrative on Radke’s life, then the book reads better. Also you can focus on the point of each chapter, rather than looking for a big revelation at the end.
Stuccoville is the author’s story about his care for his mother from the time he was a small boy to her death, some 40+ years later-note: this is not the author’s life story. Radke’s mother contracted lupus which left her progressively becoming an invalid. His father leaves his mother for someone without her issues, leaving him as the sole caregiver at eight years old. He continues through his life, progressing episode by episode until he graduates with his doctorate and finds a bit of steady work. Then he jumps to the age of fifty, as his mother is in the last stages of her life.
This book is a straightforward read. I think the author may be writing this for three reasons: 1) As an exercise in catharsis, 2) As a means to leave a tribute for his family about his mother, and 3) a testimony for those who need to be a long-term caregiver to someone they love-it is possible to survive.
Notes from my book group:
The author will be part of our book group’s annual author’s night. Here are some of the questions I am interested in asking him:
In your Prologue, you note how you felt a book club should be run: only to read. So how comfortable do you feel with a bunch of babbling bookies?
The only place I saw your father’s name was when you were giving instructions after your crash. Did I miss it? Or was this on purpose?
At the start of the book, you said that you wanted to be the best husband and father and this was by I had to learn to be a son. In the last chapter you say I am no longer a son. Would you like to talk about the relationship between those two statements? Also is that last statement a reflection on how you view yourself being a husband and father?
One question which comes to mind is, you were involved in a lot of things which could be potentially troublesome as a youth. Your Mom seemed to be ready to correct, but not so much punish. What lessons on child rearing did you gain from her? How would you contrast your methods with hers?
One of the things which struck me was the details you kept, such as the gold-speckled Formica countertops of an apartment when you first moved to Fresno. You spoke about the journals you kept. When did you start keeping journals? How did you recall such details on these somewhat insignificant items? Are the journals you kept an indication of what you wanted to do as you matured?
Fresno has a patchwork of poverty next to opulence. How did that affect you? It looked like you were able to hang out with some rich kids as well as your neighborhood. Looking back, was this a benefit?
In Florida, you went through a process of realizing you were not the writer you wanted to be. First, what expectations did you have for yourself? How have you or did you go about reaching those expectations? What are your current writing expectations?
=========================================================
For the book group:
Why did Radke’s mother flourish when she could play a role while reading?
There is a saying that Money talks. When Radke got a newspaper route, he started to earn money. He notes this is when he started to lust after money. How did this lust after money become part of him? Do you think greed is a rich or a poor person’s disease?
It is striking that in Radke’s early life, the poverty he endured. His mother and him were barely surviving. Is there a place for the Church in situations like this? How so?
Jim, the manager at Der Wienerschnitzel, became Radke’s vision of a perfect father. What attributes did Jim have which were missing from Radke’s life? What does Radke mean by Jim was a father in the present tense. Radke’s father was past tense.
Radke found that the flawed characters in books helped him to understand himself. Explain this.
There is a comment which he makes from looking at his mother’s younger picture. He notes how confident she looked. He also reflects on how she was getting more paranoid and wonders how she went from one to the other. Does aging make a person less confident? Do you feel the same level of confidence in yourself now as you did when you were 20? Why does this take place?
I had come to believe that the success of great writers was irrevocably tied to consumption and that many did their best work when drunk. Is this a true statement? Why? Does alcohol, or drugs, help with any blockage with writers? Are they better able to express themselves?
Radke asks, If you could have one thing in your life, before you die, what would it be?
He also noted that I had come to believe that the success of great writers was irrevocably tied to consumption and that many did their best work when drunk. Do you think this is true? Provide examples either way.
If you were a writer, what books would you have by your desk?
How do you want your life to change because you read this book?
Many of these questions are either from or adapted from LitLovers.
Why the title of Stuccoville?
Does this story work as an autobiography?
Did the ending seem fitting? Satisfying?
Which character was the most likable?
Which character did you identify with?
Which one did you dislike?
Every story has a world view. Were you able to identify this story’s world view? What was it? How did it affect the story?
In what context was religion talked about in this book?
Was there anybody you would consider religious?
How did they show it?
Was the book overtly religious?
How did it affect the book's story?
Why do you think the author wrote this book?
What would you ask the author if you had a chance?
What “takeaways” did you have from this book?
How did this book affect your view of the world?
Of how God is viewed?
What questions did you ask yourself after reading this book?
Talk about specific passages that struck you as significant—or interesting, profound, amusing, illuminating, disturbing, sad...?
What was memorable?
New Words:
- Morton’s toe: A Morton’s toe otherwise called Morton's foot or Greek foot or Royal toe is characterized by a longer second toe. This is because the first metatarsal, behind the big toe, is short compared to the second metatarsal, next to it. The longer second metatarsal puts the joint at the base of the second toe (the second metatarsophalangeal or MTP joint) further forward.
- Nadir: the lowest point in the fortunes of a person or organization.
- Necrosis: Necrosis is the death of body tissue. It occurs when too little blood flows to the tissue. This can be from injury, radiation, or chemicals. Necrosis cannot be reversed. When large areas of tissue die due to a lack of blood supply, the condition is called gangrene.
- The Lord of the Flies by William Golding
- JD Salinger
- SE Hinton
- John Knowles
- Harper Lee
- The Chosen by Chaim Potok
- The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett
- The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler
- The Postman Always Rings Twice by James Cain
- The Faerie Queene by Edmond Spenser
- The Waste Land By T.S. Elliot
- On Liberty by J.S. Mill
- Ulysses by Tennyson
- Mere Christianity. By CS Lewis
- Gray’s Anatomy by Henry Gray
- The Story of a Soul by Saint Therese
- Blue Highways by William Least Heat Moon
- The Westminster Dictionary of the Bible
- The Collected Works of William Shakespeare
- Tristram Shandy by Laurence Sterne
- Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
- Tom Jones by Henry Fielding
- Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe
- East of Eden by John Steinbeck
- For Whom the Bell Tolls by Earnest Hemingway
- Light in August by William Faulkner
- The Case for Christ by Lee Stroebel
- The Felon by Ken Radke
Good Quotes:
- First Line: When I was growing up, my mother made it clear that there were a number of things I would have to do on my own.
- Last Line: Just as quickly, he turned away and became a boy walking ahead, his gaze forward, his spirit churning, his cold, wet feet shuffling over the resplendent snow.
- If you could have one thing in your life, before you die, what would it be? Chp 15 You Will Be With Me in Paradise
- There is value in everything, even the stuff that seems worthless and painful when you’re in the middle of it. Chp 17 Not Too Late to Change Your Mind
-
Enjoy
the process. Go to the page each day expecting nothing and see what
the page gives you in return. Chp See What the Page Gives You in
Return
- Prologue: The Wolf, I’m Afraid
- 1 There’s Money in Paper Bags!
- 2 This is How I Came To Be Charles
- 3 Everything Wrong in His World Somehow Started With Me
- 4 Jackrabbits, Ground Squirrels, Field Mice and the Hawks That Ate Them
- 5 The Beautiful Brenda Cuttin
- 6 People With Perfect Smiles and Impeccable Hair
- 7 I Want to Be a Child Star
- 8 Here I was, With All Kinds of Badness in My Heart
- 9 Lust, Maybe, but Not Violence
- 10 In My Trash Bag, I Met Kathy
- 11 We Kick over a few Tricycles Along the Way
- 12 Our Cupboards Were Full of Her Profits
- 13 There Hung in the Air a Sense of Unease
- 14 If I were, If I were, If I were
- 15 You Will Be With Me in Paradise
- 16 As Popular as Anyone
- 17 Not Too Late to Change Your Mind
- 18 What Does Poor Look Like To You?
- 19 The Potatoe Quarterly Is Where You’ll Stay
- 20 My Life Felt Too Small to Give a Name
- 21 I Brought My Own Pen
- 22 I Dance Like an American
- 23 I Sighed My Way Through All of It
- 24 There Are Low Points and There Are Nadirs
- 25 See What the Page Gives You in Return
- 26 Elvis, by This Time, Was Living With Me
- 27 I Release You to This Next Great Adventure
- Epilogue Ich Liebre Dich
References:
- Publisher's Web Site for Book
- Author's Web Site And Facebook
- Amazon-Book
- Amazon-Author
- Barnes and Noble
- GoodReads-Book
- GoodReads-Author
- Reader’s Favorite
- Valley Library Bindery
- YouTube
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